marriage

Courageous Dreams

Brandon, Heather, Brooklyn, Jaron, Caden & Gavin Meadows are big Disney fans!  This fact is no secret to anyone who remotely knows our family.  We find it amusing to work lines from Disney movies into our everyday conversation.  Just last night, when Jaron, our nine year-old, was off to take his shower after soccer practice, I reminded him to pay attention to certain anatomical locations.  He turned around and quoted a line from Timon in Lion King 1 ½, “Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore!”  We all burst in laughter! Brandon and I have never outgrown our enjoyment of Disney animation.  I remember back to when Toy Story 2 was released in theaters.  It was early in our marriage, so we didn’t have children yet.  Our schedule must have been pretty packed the Friday and Saturday of its premier; therefore, we resorted, despite our guilt, to skipping Sunday church in order to see it.

We currently see the same interest and excitement in our children.  Brooklyn is twelve, and yet still enjoys our Friday night family movie, which almost always is a Disney one.  And she is one of the best in the family to incorporate those Disney lines!  This makes it even funnier to us, because she’s the least animated of the kids.  When she works in a punch line, it’s hysterical, because it’s unexpected.

A couple of weeks ago, Brandon and I were sipping on our coffee while the kids munched on their cinnamon rolls, our normal Sunday morning routine.  Brandon asked the kids what were their dreams of becoming when they grew up.  He followed it with a passionate quote from Rapunzel in the movie Tangled, “Haven’t you ever had a dream?”

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The conversation continued as each child expressed their dream.  Brooklyn shared that she wanted to be a veterinarian, out of her deep love for animals.  Jaron shared that he wanted to be a mechanic because he loved cars.  Caden shared that he wanted to be an engineer because he loved legos.  Even Gavin, our four year old, enthusiastically shared that he was going to be Spiderman when he grew up.

In our normal family way, we related this conversation back to Disney.  We spoke about Cinderella who believed in her dream.  In her song, A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes, she sings, “Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through.walt-disney-screencaps-cinderella-cinderella-1377203319

Then we spoke about Princess Tiana who, despite Mama Odie’s “Dig a Little Deeper” song, still emphasized her own strong work ethic in seeing her dream come true.Tiana-as-Waitress-Princess-and-the-Frog

 

And of course, we acknowledged the man himself, Walt Disney who didn’t give up.  He made his greatest contribution to animation with Mickey Mouse only after losing his first successful animated character, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, to another studio.

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This may all seem somewhat childish, but the reality is, even adults have dreams.  We give them more grown-up descriptions, such as, “goals,” or “visions.”  But all in all we still dream.  More often than not, we just don’t have the courage to share those dreams or the faith to pursue them.  Or perhaps we look at a dream failed when really it was the Lord redirecting.

I had a dream of a vocal career in Contemporary Christian music.  Obviously, I’m a neonatal nurse, so you might be inclined to think that I was way off the mark and that the dream was naïve.  But I have seen the Lord benefit my life today from my pursuit of that dream.  I spent a few years traveling around the state of Oklahoma singing with a group within Oklahoma Kids.  That time was undoubtedly the happiest of my childhood and it cultivated my stage presence and confidence.  I had an acceptance there that I couldn’t find at school.  The foundation during that season of my life led me to singing on my own in competition, in festivals, in churches, and even in my town’s pageant.  One thing leads to another, and I found myself in Nashville with my vocal coach at Embassy Music, and later in Estes Park, Colorado at the Christian Music Artists' Seminar.

Again, waste of time because I’m a nurse and not a professional vocalist?  Not at all.  Those experiences prepared me for something I would have never imagined.  Public speaking.  More than anything, I gained an invaluable characteristic through discovering my potential in vocal music; I gained a sense of confidence, and that is something we all need to pursue the dreams God stirs within our hearts.

I’m still dreaming today.  I have dreams for my kids; that they pursue an education, have a fulfilling career, experience the love of a devoted spouse and the miracle of healthy children.  I have dreams for my marriage; including continual professional growth, service in ministry, time to enjoy hobbies together, and maybe some sand and water too.  Doesn’t a beach just represent a peaceful side of dreams?  I have dreams for my career as a nurse, for more opportunities in speaking, and for the open door to formally write my story.

What will come of these dreams, these visions, these goals?  I don’t know.  But God does.  He placed the dream in my heart to have a husband that would look beyond the scars and desire me as if there were none.  Dream came true.  He placed a dream in my heart to be able to experience pregnancy, birth and the wonder of motherhood.  Dream came true.  He placed a dream in my heart of being able to physically minister to patients as a nurse.  Dream came true.

I don’t know what it will look like, or how it will happen or when it will transpire, but I do know that God’s plan has been far greater than any I could have ever imagined, and that what He has in store is consistent with what He has accomplished.  This is where faith is at work.  Hebrews 11:1 (NLT), “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”

We walk by faith, not by sight.  We don’t wait to see the evidence before we step out.  We believe, we work hard, we push on through failed attempts because we have faith in the One who holds the plan.

May we all be courageous to pursue what God has placed in our hearts to dream.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”- Walt Disney

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Thank You

High school football games were quite the event every Friday night in our hometown.  My high school didn’t reach 5A until my senior year.  But even before that, we had a pretty snazzy 4A team.  I remember back to my sophomore year in high school.  My parents and I went to every single game.  We weren’t going for anyone in particular; no relatives on the team or anything.  We were simply a part of the community and it was a way to show our support and involvement. As much fun as we had, I’ll never forget something that use to spark a bit of irritation in me.  It was when the game would get down to the wire so to speak.  We’d either need a field goal, or some game saving play.  One of the players would start waving his arms to get the crowd to cheer.  I wanted to say, “Hey, that’s the cheerleaders’ job!”    Nevertheless, we’d all, already standing to our feet start to scream even louder declaring our praise and reassurance.

It’s the same kind of feeling I get when I watch award shows and the recipient makes the comment, “I’d like to thank my fans.”  It just sounds so boisterous and somewhat conceited.  It’s for that very reason that I’ve never really liked the “follow” link on this blog. Who wants to be a follower anyway?  Didn’t we all get the message about being independent and having leadership qualities?

Regardless of the lingo, we know that these are all ways for us to express our support, to give our approval, to provide our encouragement.  It’s a way for us to state: “I believe in what you’re doing;” “I agree with what you say;” “I want you to keep going.”  These are the blessings that I have received from you, my precious readers and commenters.

I could have never anticipated what God had in store for this blog.  It was and is a daily step of obedience to open my life and share with you all.  This is vulnerability and humility like I’ve never known.  It’s so easy to put our confident and sometimes, even prideful faces on for the world.  It’s another thing to strip it away and share those hidden insecurities and inadequacies, those most heartfelt thoughts, deepest prayers and magnificent visions.

The words posted and messaged to me since Heather’s Blessed JouRNey, got up and running six months ago are treasures.  Like the one from Michelle, who went to school with my brother Jon.  She commented on 25 Years Later.

I still remember seeing the smoke from my house that day… I think of Jon often and remember what a special friend he was to me. Even though I was only 8 I remember that he would never let anyone go without a treat on bake sale day. I remember asking him if he was really sure if he had enough money to be buying everyone treats. He just smiled and said, “of course I I do.” He lifted everyone around him up. If I was having trouble with school work or just having a bad day he would give me that smile of his and make my day brighter. You are so much like him: warm, kind, and gentle. Jon was so willing to love people just like you!! Love, Michelle

Or the one recently, from Kim, a friend from high school.

Heather, I'm sure you get this from everyone that follows your blog...but I have to tell you how much I love reading them! You never fail to either give me chills or make me cry. You touch my heart every time. I want to tell you what an amazing woman you are and how you are such an inspiration. You have gone through so much in your life, and still you appear to be one of the happiest people I know. You have such a heart of gold. On the other hand, I must tell you what a freak of nature you are! I'm putting you up there in the rare category with Erika Cheatham...you two are the only two that just keep getting prettier the older you get! How do you do that?! It's not fair! Lol! ;) Anyway, it was weighing on my heart to let you know what a beautiful person you are inside and out. You can't say that about many people but I feel you are a genuine woman. I'm honored to call you my friend. And those lil nicu babies are lucky they have you to care for them :) xoxo

I share these to show that when we follow God’s will, even if we’re concerned that people will think we’re crazy, even if we’re inhibited to share those things we keep hidden; that our blessing will be far greater than our sacrifice.

How could I not return to give my very simple offerings?

John 15:5 (NIV) says, “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.

I am absolutely nothing without Jesus.  My efforts writing here are in vain without Him.  My work as a nurse is futile without His anointing.  My role as a mother is ineffective without His guidance.  My commitment to my husband is empty without His love. He is everything and He makes something of anything I give to Him, as evidence by your gracious support of my humble contributions.

Thank you! Thank you, for reading so faithfully.  Thank you, for sharing with your family and your friends.  Thank you, for taking a moment to post those invaluable comments.  Thank you, for giving back to my life, more than what I’m sure I could have ever given to yours.

Bless you, readers!

Because of your support, I've had the privilege to share with....

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God's Unpredictable Plans

This past Wednesday appeared to be another run-of-the-mill kind of day.  The alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. and my hubby and I proceeded with our work day routine.  We headed out the door, in different directions, to jobs we love and feel blessed to have. But the day wasn’t another ordinary day.  It was a significant day in our lives, for it was the one on which we wed fourteen years ago.  However, it was the first one we celebrated having completed goals we set so very long ago. My husband and I met in August of 1996, we began dating in the winter of 1997, we got engaged in the fall of 1998 and we married in June of 1999.  We were so very young, but couldn’t have been more certain that God intended for us to spend the rest of our lives together.  We had such beautiful dreams, such important goals, such high expectations, and such great desires to accomplish it all together.  Being a person who values tradition and respects order, I wanted to see us go to college and graduate before we got married.  Nevertheless, we bucked tradition and proceeded with what we knew was God’s timing for our life.

Our decision to marry at eighteen years-old was met with an understandably large amount of resistance.  Our parents were anything but excited.  They were deeply cautious and sufficiently objectionable on our behalf.  They completely had our best interest at heart.  They wanted the best for our lives and typically that involves postponing such an event to a more appropriate and socially acceptable age. We knew it would be easier to wait.  But we knew the path God was leading us would have far greater reward than the easy street.  And come to find out, it did and it does.

I spent most of my growing up questioning if anyone would want me.  I grew up wondering if I’d ever be able to have children.  There was nothing I wanted more than a family, and the Lord didn’t let me wait.  My emotional agony had lasted long enough.  God gave peace to my spirit when Brandon requested I marry him.  And I found my greatest confidence in becoming a Mom to Brooklyn, Jaron, Caden and Gavin.  There’s no accomplishment that compares to the one I have in being their Mom.

And there I was at work on Wednesday afternoon, June 19th 2013, taking my lunch break, to eat a quick meal with my husband.  We celebrated our fourteenth anniversary in the waiting room on the fifth floor of the Children’s Hospital at Saint Francis.  And believe it or not, it couldn’t have been more ideal.  God brought this amazing man into my life, blessed us with four miracles, and He used those experiences to call me to do the work I was doing that very afternoon as a nurse in the NICU.

There are times our life may not follow custom.  It may not get the approval and support from those we love and respect.    We may be faced with sacrifice, with unpleasant conversations, with uncomfortable moments.  But if God plants a vision in our heart, if God calls us to do the unpopular or the difficult, then He will give us the courage and determination to follow His will.  It is He and He alone.  And when we live a life to please Him, He irons out the rest.

We’re living our “happily ever after” with a very supportive family, because we dared to follow God’s plan.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

**Do you have a testimony of God working His unpredictable plan in your life?  Please feel free to share that encouragement below by clicking on "leave a reply."**

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Worth Fighting For

There is a chore that comes along when the weather turns nice. It seems to require more time than we ever want to give, but it’s almost classified as mindless activity. And that’s why I don’t mind it too terribly much. It’s mowing. My husband and I have a routine when it comes to the yard. I mow; he weed eats. I kind of enjoy the time to sit on the John Deere. Several years ago we sold our boat so we could purchase a commercial zero-turn mower. This was a wise investment considering we mow nearly three acres. And even though we never seem to have enough time, I like “having to mow.” It’s something that has to be done, and the time I spend sitting there allows for a roundabout bit of peace, in light of the rumbling sound of the mower.

The thoughts that came to mind yesterday were centered on my marriage. As anyone knows, if you start a home improvement project, there’s likely to be a fight. Well we started a few; several months ago. We added on a closet, remodeled our bathroom, and put in a pool including an outdoor kitchen area. Those are huge blessings that we keep thanking God for, and at the same time, in our flesh and humanity, we found ourselves arguing over the details.

Now, I have two friends who have told me they never fight with their husbands, and I truly believe them. Brandon and I strive to be good examples, inspiring to our children and those around us, but we fight. Not on a daily basis, that would be incredibly exhausting and heart breaking, but we have disagreements and arguments that we face, confront and resolve. Some times are easier and quicker than other times, but nevertheless, we resolve it.

I don’t want to be a disappointment to my readers, but I want to be real with each of you. I wouldn’t want anyone to hold me on a pedestal and assume that my life is perfect, that my attitude never needs adjusting and my lips never say things I regret. I’m human, and so is the man I’m married to, and there are times we really irritate each other.

My heart becomes so heavy because I wonder how many people have blow-ups with their spouse and they think they have a bad marriage, when in all reality they have a very normal marriage. Two people who spoke into my husband and me, profoundly, were our small group leaders. Larry and Joan Lichlyter led our marriage and family class the first ten years of our marriage and they shared absolute truths that are the rock we stand on when we become clouded with the pettiness that tends to creep into relationships.

One truth is found in John 10:10 (NIV),“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” It is essential to remember that satan is our enemy and not our spouse; and it is satan’s desire to destroy our marriage. A scripture that comes to mind is John 16:33 (NLT), “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Anything that brings glory to God is going to come under the attack of the enemy. Know that in this world, our marriages are going to face tribulation, but Jesus has overcome the world, and therefore, our marriages have too.

My husband is my greatest blessing. I can’t imagine living a day without him, but rest assured, there are days I’ve thought I couldn’t live with him either! The most effective tool we have when we’re mad, hot headed, angry and full of steam is to humble ourselves, hold hands and pray together. There is absolutely nothing that defuses a situation faster than prayer, and doing it together works miracles right there!

I pray that opening up this, not-so-sunny side of life encourages some hearts to love beyond measure and guard the gift God gave you at the altar of marriage.

Be blessed and enjoy making up--- however you deem fit!

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