Inspiring Perseverance

Persistence. Tenacity. Determination. Staying power. All are synonyms for perseverance. Perseverance defined as, “steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.” When Gavin was three, in his first year of preschool, he received the character award for perseverance. The definition he learned? Never ever give up!

I wasn’t surprised at all that this last child of mine would get the perseverance award. Some may call it stubbornness. I actually have thought it numerous times. But it’s a character quality that pushes us through in life’s difficult circumstances. Perseverance. Never give up. Yes, maybe some naturally born hard-headedness, but something we all need in order to do and become what God has called us.

Oh, it can be difficult raising a child with such strong will power. However, stick around and you can see how the Lord can use it for His glory. It’s inspiring. Inspiring, as is the story of my friend Heather and her husband Sam.

I met Heather shortly after my little Gavin was born. When he was six weeks old I started one of my last two prerequisites for nursing school. I sat down beside a girl who would become one of my dearest friends. That girl from Massachusetts who called the water fountain “a bubbler,” and who could test over anatomy, but couldn’t stomach dissecting a cat.

In those beginnings, we never realized we were on the same track, both planning to attend nursing school at OU. Our friendship blossomed in those years together. We juggled schedules, laundry, clinicals, grocery shopping, studying, cooking, and only the necessary spot cleaning. Heather introduced me to her great love of Starbucks. She spoke wisdom into the simplest of moments. She shared her heart, her history and her faith. Through it all, I also got to know the love of her life, Sam.

Heather lights up when she speaks of her husband. Her admiration is as deep as her love. And it’s not hard to see why. Sam was that stubborn little boy. Although a bit difficult to raise, his strong will was and is an attribute that brings glory to God.

Sam was born and raised in Nigeria. Like Paul writes in Philippians 4:12, Sam knows what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. Life was good when he was young. His family did pretty well, being the only ones in the neighborhood with the latest technological gadget, a video cassette recorder. But Sam watched those items go to the wayside when his dad lost his job and sold that VCR, along with other things, in order for his children to continue on in their education.

“My mother was a school teacher, so education was always very important to us,” Sam recalls. His father eventually moved to Italy to work crops, sending money to Nigeria for the family. That hardheaded kid gained an opportunity when he moved in with his uncle to attend a better school. Despite being eight hours away from his family, he improved his English and sharpened his intellect.

The family moved to Italy to be with their father for a time, but when they went back to Nigeria, Sam stayed with a brother, working, learning Italian, and allowing God to use him in ministry. His next step was to come to Tulsa, Oklahoma to attend Rhema Bible College. But first he had to have $16,000 saved to live on while he attended school. How in the world could he get that money?

Having the goal before him, he went to work. Riding a bike one hour each way, working twelve hour shifts in a factory, five days a week, Sam saved that money. And when it came time to get his Visa to come to America, he didn’t allow a denial to deter him from the plan God placed in his heart. God granted him favor when his call to the Embassy resulted in another appointment. Regardless that he got the slim chance of meeting with the same agent, the conversation went a little differently, Sam telling him, “I just want an opportunity.”

Sam’s desire for an opportunity got him to America with a brown paper sack containing $16,032.78 cash in tote. God provided for Sam. He provided for someone to get him to a bus after his flight from Italy to Oklahoma City. And He’s provided for every need since, as Sam has been obedient to Him.

When I met Heather and Sam, they were Bible College graduates, Sam was in pharmacy school at OU and they had two beautiful children, Ryan and Olivia. It was a challenging season for them to tackle those lofty goals. I watched completely impressed. Then along came 2011. I became even more impressed. Not because of what they did, but because of their confidence in what God could do.

After Sam graduated with his doctorate in pharmacy in the spring of 2011, he and Heather welcomed their third baby, Toby. She was in her last year of nursing school. Meanwhile, Sam studied for boards while awaiting that needed promotion from intern to pharmacist. Sam did not pass. He rescheduled, took the test again. Unfortunately, he did not pass the second time. Because of the results, he not only missed his promotion, but he was let go.

I’m not merely painting a picture of discouragement. I’m hoping you see where the opportunity lies for fear to creep in. Let’s talk about the house payment, the car payment, the utilities, or the school loans. This family was under pressure.

In their faith, they anointed their lawn, their house, and their vehicles, laying claim in Jesus name.

Not wanting to keep doing the same thing expecting different results, Sam desired to take a prep course. But where would the money come from? While some of us may question and ask, Sam believed. And God provided. One of his instructors from OU paid for him to take the course!

Third time to test, Sam passed!!!!

There is so much more to Sam and Heather Falana than a blog post could contain. But what I hope you receive from these words here today is NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

This family is an illustration of perseverance.

They motivate me to press on in those times of unanswered questions. They inspire me to believe beyond what I can see.

I pray their real life journey helps you to redefine those challenges on your journey as opportunities for God to move.

“Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”

James 1:2-4 NIV

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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Inspiring Change

“I can’t feel my legs! I can’t feel my legs!”  It was Olaf’s sentiments after falling down a mountain on a pillow of snow, although we know they weren’t his legs.  It was also my sentiments after cracking down on these few extra winter pounds.  I’m not talking major body transformation.  I’m talking about a little more than the treadmill routine after those snow days that the kids and I ate cookie dough and then warm-right-out-of-the-oven cookies, or those brownie’s for Sunday night’s Once Upon a Time, and that little dish of ice cream before bed some evenings. Oh how quickly those habits make the jeans a little snug! From my experiences of battling with the scale, I resorted to giving myself a weight range. It’s my healthy place. I set a four-pound fluctuation zone. This allows me some room to enjoy my little indulgences. And it keeps that dreaded basic bathroom piece out of the equation….the mirror. We can’t always trust the reflection we see there. I remember; those days when I was burying my insecurities and fears in a banana split and then hugging the toilet till I had purged all remaining content. Having this distorted perception that if I could be thin enough, I’d compensate for the ugliness of the scars.

How ever did I overcome that darkness? The most important component to my healing was my greater desperation for God. Every time I lay in the floor cramping from an overdose of laxatives or my throat burning from vomiting every nutritious item, or contending the voices of what I’d allow myself to eat after denying myself reasonable food; I would cry out to God. I asked so many questions. And in every moment I knew He was with me. Then I had some mentors, who I will share in a future post, speaking His Word, praying with me and helping me to redirect into a healthy lifestyle. Finally, I got professional help. Yes, I write that with a little humor, but in all seriousness, it was an imperative element to my road of healing.

For these reasons, it is important for me to be mindful not to go under, nor to go over that four-pound weight range. It can be my slippery slope, which takes me back to the challenge, “How thin can I get?” And this isn’t about a number; it’s about being healthy.

And this is why I want to introduce a woman dear to my heart. She is the face behind www.heathersblessedjourney.com. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know if I’d have ever had the courage to get off the ground in this endeavor of writing.

I met Rhonda Lawes in August 2010. I wasn’t sure we’d know each other very long. I was in her Pharmacology class at The University of Oklahoma. Each day I prayed God would provide for me to be successful. Her class was by far the most challenging I have ever taken.

When reviewing our results after our first exam, I didn’t anticipate the highest grade, but with the notes I had taken and the amount of time I had studied, I expected a decent grade. You can imagine my disbelief when I saw a “72.” Professor Lawes didn’t know me well, but she read me like a book. I was barely holding the tears back. She encouraged, “Remember, this is the first test you’ve ever taken in nursing school. It’s different. Don’t judge your success on this first test.” Because of my grade, I was required to have a one-on-one meeting with her. The result of that meeting was a broader view, a different approach and ultimately a Bachelor of Science in Nursing.

I took away far more than a nursing degree. I stepped away with a woman who would become my mentor and my friend.

Shortly before graduation, Rhonda spoke into me with one question, “Have you ever thought about starting a blog?” I brushed it off almost as quickly as she asked. She nudged, “Well, pray about it. Take a few months to write and see what you come up with.”

Nine months later she came to my house and introduced me to this new world of reaching people by setting up www.heathersblessedjourney.com.

Rhonda was instrumental in my transformation from student to nurse. But she didn’t stop there. She continues still, investing into my life, challenging and sharpening me in areas I thought were incidental, but she identified as God given gifts, speaking and writing.

To watch her is to be impressed. She’s one of the most brilliant people, a published writer, a passionate professor, and still a learner, continuing on in her own studies to attain her doctorate degree. She’s even more compassionate. To know her is to love her as she genuinely cares and connects with students, patients and the numerous audiences she presents to. Not to mention, her outgoing personality, which blows all other characteristics out of the water. People love to be around her!

There’s so much to Rhonda Lawes.

Her latest journey touches my heart and inspires me to be a better me. And it’s not only her success that’s so inspiring, but that it’s another avenue for her to help others.

Rhonda had a similar battle with the scale. Some people would put our experiences in different categories, but they’re not. Both come from a place of desperation. Both are crying for help. Rhonda gathered the courage and changed her life.

“I’ll give this one more try. If this doesn’t work I’m just going to buy a bigger coffin. I can’t take one more failure,” were the words she shared with me after she set out on her journey. The example of strength was given the day she walked into the gym and hired a trainer. She had a ruthless pursuit for change, not just in the physical form but beneath the surface, desiring mental training too.

Talk about brave! This woman faced every insecurity, every potential for failure, every ounce of doubt, every instance of comparison, and she did it again and again and again!

Less than a year down the road, my amazing friend has dropped over ten sizes. She’s broke through the walls, like the one she hit nine months in at 100 pounds lost. Her training is lifestyle now. Real change; down a total of 130 pounds since she started. In the process of transforming her look into a picture of health and strength, her spirit has grown even stronger!

Every chance I get to spend with Rhonda Lawes leaves me feeling sharpened spiritually and intellectually.

I am inspired by her discipline, courage, strength and compassion, and I pray you are too!

I Timothy 4:8 NIV 

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

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It Is Time

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

There are few things I enjoy as much as I enjoy “walking right down the middle of Main Street USA,” grabbing a hot dog at Casey’s Corner and watching the three o’clock parade in Magic Kingdom. It’s like stepping into Bert’s painting the way Jane and Michael did with the one who is “practically perfect in every way,” Mary Poppins. However, there is a part of Disney World that doesn’t feel quite so magical to me. It’s the roller coaster rides.

“Cautious” is the word. Or maybe it’s “scaredy cat.” The scene is a bit similar to when Brooklyn was attempting to walk on her own. She wanted to walk, but she wanted something to hold onto, even if she didn’t need it to balance. I tried to supplement a sharpie marker for my finger, but she didn’t “fall” (pun intended) for that. For the longest time, she’d cruise along with my index finger barely within her grasp. She was just too cautious to let go. The same goes with roller coasters and me. I want to ride with the group, but it’s the unpredictable course, the unexpected turns and surprising drops that almost make me bow out. I know, that’s why people ride, but “thrill” is not in my vocabulary. “Family memories” is though.  So I gather up the nerve and ride anyway. When the ride is over, I’m always glad I got on.

How many rides do we skip because we don’t have the courage to experience the unexpected? When is that little something in our grasp keeping us from having the courage to let go and take those first steps? What do we miss in life because we don’t have courage?

In my time recovering from surgery, the Lord whispered into my heart repeatedly, “It is time.”

“But I went to nursing school to be a nurse.” I felt Him speak that He gave that to me.

“But I have these beautiful children who I’m always so busy with.” I felt Him speak that He gave them to me too.

Then there’s my sweet husband, but the Lord gave him to me as well.

What I really wanted in life is what I thought I’d never have, my husband and my children. I have all I ever needed with them.

“It is time, it is time;” the message stirred in my spirit.

Yes, it is time.

This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. I Corinthians 1:25 NLT

We want to be right where God wants us to be, when He wants us to be there. His plan is wiser than all others.

The place He’s calling me to be, took me back to the place where it all started on April 27^th 1988. It was the ditch where I laid, my body burning; my brother dead. It was the scene of a horrific accident. This course of life changed.

That ditch. That place of tragedy, photographed for its symbolism of triumph!

Here I am, stepping on the ride. Here I am letting go of what’s in my grasp that I can feel and see and know.  Here I am silencing the "what if's" and "hows."

Steps of courage: setting a three-year time line to write a memoir of this journey

Steps of courage: sharing with others through speaking opportunities

Steps of courage: developing brochures to capture who we are, our past speaking experiences and testimonials

Steps of courage: seeking options for where our online home should be

Steps of courage: sending our story to different publications

Steps of courage: asking for your prayers and requesting your support in following this blog, sharing it with friends, and connecting us with others to share our story publicly

These things which God has done must be shared. “To God be the glory for the things He has done!” Sharing what He has done gives hope. Giving of ourselves brings encouragement. Telling our stories inspires, sharpens, motivates.

What has the Lord done in your life that could make a difference in another’s?  We all have a story to tell.  Whether it's to forty or four thousand, whether it's over coffee or in a presentation, we make a difference when we share where we've been.  That may look a little different for each of us, but make no mistake, it still makes a difference!  So take those steps of courage with me when God opens the door.

In the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing some people with you who have inspired me. These individuals are courageous in being who God has called them to be, and encouraging to all who have the privilege of knowing.

This journey has unexpected turns, twists, and curves. But when it’s over, I’ll sure be glad I got on.

“Decisions are not always easy…especially ones that are life changing. Faith gets you founded. Courage gets you moving.” Pastor Steve Lee, Coweta Assembly

If you know of an occasion where I could share my story,                                                                       click here to complete and submit the form.

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Loose Gravel

Fences. Excavators. Dirt work. It’s a common scene in our small community. It’s a scene of construction. A new elementary school is being built on our main street. There is also construction at the school’s band room and field house. Even our church is undergoing renovation, with remodeling to our foyer and sanctuary. Flexibility and patience are essential in this season dealing with the by-products of projects, the traffic congestion, the disruption to routine, the displacement of gatherings. Throw predictability to the curb. This is a season of change. With change comes growth. So bring on those bulldozers, pull out those sledgehammers, let’s revel the opportunity!

That’s easier to say when we see physical buildings going up. It’s more exciting when the evidence is right before our eyes. Not so much enthusiasm when it’s intangible growth in construction.

Wait. What?

You’re with me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the drive home. You’re on smooth surfaces. Cruising along down the predictable road before you. You’re in total control of that wheel. You’ve got security steering the vehicle exactly where you want it to go. And before you know it, you hit loose gravel. 

What is completely unexpected catches us and produces instantaneous emotion. Fear. Vulnerability. Insecurity. Doubt. Confusion.

And that is what many of us experience in our flesh when God is calling us out of the familiar and into the unknown. We want things to make sense. We long to measure sensibility. We desire to weigh out the practical. However, sometimes our steps of obedience are scary, or seem foolish, because we don’t know the plan, because we’re not in control.

When God starts a project, sometimes we’re going to have some inconveniences. Our routine may be a little disrupted. We may seem a bit displaced. There may be some detours and traffic jams. We might even hit loose gravel. Put patience, faith and flexibility to practice.  We were never in control of this to begin with. And making improvements sometimes start with making a big mess first.

Remember, we’ve got one amazing Foreman on the site. He’s coordinating each and every detail.

And when life hits loose gravel, relinquish control; He has the wheel.

Habakkuk 3:19 (NLT) The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.

Isaiah 33:6 (NLT) In that day he will be your sure foundation, providing a rich store of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the Lord will be your treasure.

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What Is Love?

“Yeah I would fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you. You know it's true, everything I do, oh, I do it for you.” Lyrics like these from the theme song in the 1991 movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, are representative of what we see as chivalrous, that honorable, gallant man, the knight, willing to sacrifice his life. It’s what every woman wants. A man, who honors her, respects her and would ultimately die for her.

A love that’s pure is without expectations. A love that’s genuine is without conditions. In our "Fifty Shades of Grey" culture and our skewed definitions of love, we miss out. And this missing out starts early.

The lines are blurred so we don’t even know we’re tiptoeing by them, on them, or possibly even crossing them. We’ve become so desensitized to love, that we don’t guard it, wait for it, or hold it for what is perfect. Our young people toss the word around as if they understand what they’re saying. “I love you.” In a relationship, what does that mean? With the gift giving and receiving, the Instagram posts and captions, and that word….dating. Where are they even going? Nowhere. And we’re not helping them.

We quickly jump in to defining love through another, or by the interactions we have with another. We’ve got it all wrong. Love has to start with us. We’ve got to get down to the base of love, the agape love. How can we love another if we haven’t fully accepted the One love our hearts, minds, and souls were created for?

There is a Man who has died for us. We read about the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins. However, do we take it in? Do we fully absorb what He did? Do we completely soak up the love He poured out when He shed His blood?

Philippians 2:6-8 NLT (emphasis added)

Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared in human form, He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

A criminal’s death. A criminal’s death is what He endured for you. He endured it for me. If you were the only person to save, He would have endured it for you alone.

A criminal’s death. We’re not talking about an honorable sacrifice. He was mocked. He was ridiculed. He was beaten. He suffered and died, ransomed for you and for me. It was our debt to pay, yet He gave Himself freely.

There we find the foundation of love. If we don’t build our house of love off of that solid establishment, then everything we build is a house of cards. And He wants so much more for us. He wants us to let it be forever….

*I was in the 8th grade, yes the 8th grade when I allowed myself to get caught up in romantic love.  Far before I was ready.  Nothing physical involved at all, but emotionally invested before I was grounded in my identity in Jesus.  I had a relationship with Jesus.  But please, see what I'm saying.  It was my identity in Him, the essence of who I was, that I needed to be solid first.  This song came out a few years later.  I met the group, Avalon, at a Christian Music Artist Convention my vocal coach took me to.  I told them how their song challenged me to redefine love and to guard it as the precious gift it is.  I was sixteen.  A few months later, I began dating Brandon.  It was because of these truths that our relationship took the course we printed on our wedding invitations. "A glance, a smile, became a friendship, grew into love."  I could fully, completely, and SAFELY love him, because my lens of love was through Jesus first.

"Let It Be Forever"

In a world of broken hearts, love is just a word

Used so often, what is means is blurred

People grow so hungry for a love they can believe

And will they find it here in you and me

Oh you know you must be careful

If it's love you're promising

You can never, never, ever speak it lightly

It should cost you everything

If you're gonna call it love

Oh, then let it be forever

Let it be forever

If you're gonna call it love

Oh, then let it be forever

Love has come from God and in this love we share

People see an image of Him there

It can be an invitation that leads to deeper truth

The kind of love they find in me and you

Oh, we can be a witness

Right before their eyes

A living love that's rooted in the very love of Christ

If you're gonna call it love

Oh, then let it be forever

I don't know what this world may think of love

Oh, but let our hearts remain true

To the notion that love goes beyond just emotion

Into faith, into hope, into trust

If you're gonna call it love

Won't you let it be forever

Won't you let it be, let it be

If you're gonna call it love

Won't you let it be forever

~~~

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Eucharisteo

I’ve had happier things to write about. Still do. But not today. No, today I’m writing about the mound of dirt and tulips planted by the first tree on our driveway. I’m writing about tears and what-ifs. I’m writing about the constant cries of animal who longs for her companion, her buddy. It was a beautiful weekend in Oklahoma. One not to be missed.  Many were outside enjoying the out of the ordinary warmer temperatures for this time of year. Even our dogs took advantage of an opportunity to run past the barriers of our yard that protect them and head for adventure.

Brandon and I started our Sunday on the road at five in the morning excited to surprise the kids, getting home from that ten hour drive earlier than what they anticipated. A one o’clock phone call informed us of Saturday’s events. “The dogs got out about eleven. Libby came home about ten last night, but we can’t find Daisy,” Brooklyn said on the line.

We knew. We knew Daisy and Libby never split up. We knew Libby coming home alone was indicative of something bad. The visits to neighbors had been made. Phone calls placed. No sign of her. Gone.

This family began the process to accept what was evident. A process that is increasingly difficult when one doesn’t really know what happened.

Yesterday, I utilized social media resources, posting a picture of Daisy and Libby on Instagram, Twitter, and a few different groups on Facebook, including my own page. My words, “We’re fairly certain something bad happened to our sweet Daisy Mae while we were gone this weekend. She went missing Saturday. Libby came home that night. No sign of Daisy still. If anyone may know anything, please, please let us know. It’s the not knowing that is so hard.”

A lady on one of the Facebook groups commented, “Please message me.” I did. She responded with information we knew in our hearts, but details we needed, “Unfortunately I wanted to tell you I stopped by the road on 51B going east….” She proceeded to inform me that our sweet Daisy Mae was lying there.  That it looked like she was hit.

My husband, who has been busy at work, bringing it home with him several nights a week, spreading it out across our table and working hours after everyone goes to bed, left the office immediately to go get our precious pet. He went to the place nearly two and a half miles from our home and found her. There she was lying on the side of the highway like road-kill. He picked her up, placed her in the truck, brought her home and dug a perfect 3’x5’ rectangle, 4 feet deep grave for our beloved Daisy Mae.

This is where I write about thankfulness. Yes, the topic of the book I’m reading, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The author takes the reader on a journey of what it is to be truly thankful. To live a life to the fullest. To have eucharisteo. Vos Kamp explains, “Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, envelopes the Greek word for grace, charis. But it also holds its derivative, the Greek word chara, meaning ‘joy.’” She continues, “Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo- the table of thanksgiving.

Last night, I crawled into bed, eyes swollen, nose running, tears still falling, and my heart was full of thankfulness for the tool of social media. I hear so many gripe about the effects of social media. The negative results it renders on their lives. But why? Do we let it because of our lack of self-discipline? Nothing should rule over us. I think about the good things God has given us, and yet in our flesh, humanity and sin we distort the beautiful benefit it should bring to our lives. Like sex. God Himself designed the incredibly beautiful gift for us. An act of intimacy, love and security beyond what we share with anyone other than the one we’ve vowed our life to. But what has our culture done? Distorted the pricelessness of the gift.

Last night, I felt the gift of social media. I think on the scripture James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” And I believe the resources I had to utilize was a good gift, a perfect gift to bring our Daisy Mae home.

So today, while I put away her bowl and clean her bed, I’ll think about Vos Kamps’ list, about the sunlight hitting the suds, about the smell of clean sheets and the porcelain dove, that bears the word peace hanging in her kitchen window. In the sadness, I’ll have joy, the joy that comes from thankfulness, eucharisteo. Thankfulness to have had Daisy Mae; how she loved to chase skunks but always lost, how we had to feed her pricey dog food otherwise we’d suffer the aroma of consequences, how despite her very quiet nature, Libby had inspired her to just start using her voice.

For these things, I wake this morning, thankful.

We will miss you, Daisy Mae.

We loved you! Thank you, for loving us!

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Who Do You Think You Are?

On our back porch, we have sign which reads, “work like a captain, play like a pirate.” It felt to be a very appropriate message to hang by our pool, the summertime hangout of fun, relaxation and laughter. We love to have a good time in our family, but it’s also very important to Brandon and me that we raise our children to be contributors, who know the meaning of teamwork, and how to jump in and get the job done. A nice swim in the pool has more meaning and appreciation after doing the laundry, cleaning up the kitchen or most definitely after some time working in the yard. How do we fully appreciate rest if we’re never tired? How do we completely appreciate play if we’ve never worked? Is that the reason we sometimes see people still working who aren’t relying on the job for their financial security? My husband has worked with several engineers who have retired multiple times, but keep coming back for the simple fact they like the work they do. My thoughts go toward an entertainer who came out of retirement after seventeen years, doing a world tour that stopped in his stomping grounds of Tulsa. Garth Brooks. The man loves what he does and it’s evident in his performance. He could shelve his guitar forever, and never be in want. But there’s more to it than a paycheck. It’s his passion.

There’s immeasurable fulfillment that comes from pursuing our passion. And the fulfillment comes in different forms, like: connecting with others in the same field, intellectual stimulation, recognition for outstanding work, receiving compensation for our time, stamina and thought invested. However, it’s not our job that defines us. It’s not our career that validates who we are. Even our role as parents is not the foundation of our identity. It’s difficult to imagine, but every single position we fill, can be changed or terminated.

These are the reasons we need to know who we are. I pray, dear readers that tragedy is not the cause of you to question who you are or what your purpose is. But should it be, know that there is a purpose for your life. God has a plan bigger than the pain. Regardless of how small the steps may be, continue your walk of faith and trust. He is faithful. May you rest in Romans 8:28 NLT, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Maybe another is dealing with a different kind of questioning, a different area of evaluation. Maybe the Lord is calling you to do something that you don’t quite have all the pieces of the puzzle together yet. Maybe the Lord is asking you to take steps of obedience. Matthew 25:23 NLT, “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’” Sometimes we’re called to exercise our faith when we only see a small portion of the picture. We’re called to be faithful. Whether He lays out a map, or takes our hand to lead us step-by-step, we are called to be faithful.

Who’s directing our passions? Who’s managing the desires of heart? Is it us? Or is it is the One who created us?

Whether life takes an unexpected turn or whether life gets redirected, whatever work He is calling us to is our offering to Him. Colossians 3:23 NIV, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”   While our work is fulfilling, while it is a privilege and honor, nothing we ever do should define who we are. Our Father does, and I pray these scriptures keep you close to that ever faithful and secure foundation.

Isaiah 43:4 I am precious in God’s sight. I am honored and loved by Him.

I Peter 1:18-19 I am valuable to Him because He purchased me with the precious blood of Jesus.

Jeremiah 31:3God loves me with an everlasting love He draws me to Himself with loving kindness.

Romans 8:38-39 Nothing in all creation can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord.

Psalm 5:12 I am blessed by God and He surrounds me with favor as a shield.

Psalm 17:8 I am the apple of God’s eye.

Psalm 139:13-14 I was fearfully and wonderfully created by God. I am His masterpiece.

Psalm 139:15-16 God watched as I was being formed in my mother’s womb. He wrote down in His book His special plan for me.

Psalm 139:17-18 His thoughts are precious toward me. If I could count them they would outnumber the sand.

Jeremiah 29:11 God’s plan is to prosper me and not to harm me. He gives me hope for my future.

II Corinthians 6:18 God is my Heavenly Father and I am His precious child.

II Corinthians 5:21 I am the righteousness of God in Christ.

Ephesians 1:4 I am holy and blameless in His sight because of Jesus.

I Corinthians 12:12-31 I’m a very important part of the body of Christ. My gifts are needed to fulfill God’s purpose on the earth. I’m an important part of God’s plan.

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Fear

We all learn something about fear as we’re growing up. We have unsound fear; like the darkness or the boogieman. We have protective fear; as in looking both ways before crossing a street or keeping our hands away from a hot stove. Fear is something both healthy and unhealthy. My Pastor of seventeen years, Gary Rogers defined fear as, False Evidence Appearing Real. In his article, The (Only) 5 Fears We All Share, Dr. Karl Albrecht offers a definition of fear to be an anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation 
of some imagined event or experience. Merriam-Webster defines the noun as, an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger; a feeling of being afraid; a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful.

Let’s think about the descriptive word Merriam-Webster offers, an “unpleasant” emotion. I would say so. My Grandma lived right next door to me when I was growing up. We shared the same driveway. Not too far to walk. Unless it was in the dark! I remember my Mom would hold the door open to watch me walk past our front porch, dart across the driveway where I felt I would be attacked by coyotes (we live in the country, so it seemed to be a rationale fear to me), all the meanwhile Grandma would be standing there waiting for me with her door open. What high maintenance. As badly as I wanted to spend the night with my Grandma, the hop, skip and jump to her house was highly “unpleasant” at night.

We’re familiar with fear. Regardless of psychological research or formal definitions, we understand the feeling of fear.

So what good can come from fear? Scripture tells us the role of fear as one of reverence.

Deuteronomy 13:4 Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.

Psalm 31:19 How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world.

Proverbs 1:7 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

And the One whom we stand in reverent fear is the One who holds each and every unpleasant emotion, each and every anxious feeling just as He did for our family this past Saturday evening.

The night started with a 25^th anniversary celebration for my brother and his wife. A party my sister-in-law had worked to prepare food, decorations, music and fun. It was a beautiful evening. Everything was perfect, except for my brother, who seemed winded, was cool to touch; but said he felt hot, going outside for numerous breaks over the course of the party. Signs of him passing out warranted a call for an ambulance and a ride to the hospital.

As he lay on the couch, awaiting paramedics, surrounded by his family and friends, my husband came to pray over him. Holding his hand, I discretely tried to palpate radial pulses, but couldn’t, nor could I get one post tib. My sister-in-law, also a nurse, was quick to give him aspirin, as we all thought we were observing signs of a heart attack. Thankfully, hours of lab work indicated no MI, but monitoring substantiated the need for cardiac ablation to correct his arrhythmias. The procedure was performed Monday. Unfortunately, we heard words like, “severe conductivity disorder” and “pacemaker” in that post-procedure update. Therefore, my brother at 44 years old went in for a pacemaker Tuesday.

Now. Let’s talk about fear. Of course, you’d see how our family would be scared. But let me tell you a bit more of the story. The one parent my brother and I share, died from heart failure less than two weeks before he was to get an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator. Our Dad’s brother has had similar problems with arrhythmias and so has our first cousin. Do you see the tendency to allow fear to take root?

I suppose it’s my own acknowledgement of the fear welling-up within me, but during our middle of the night visit to my brother in the emergency department, I prayed for him, for answers, for a plan and against fear.

Psalm 34:4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

Psalm 46:2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.

Psalm 112:7 They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.

We don’t know what the future holds for any of us. And I understand how fearful we can become when we don’t have the game plan laid out on the table. However, what is trust if it isn’t executed in the midst of something fearful? And…Do we trust God regardless of what the outcome will be? Do we truly believe He is in control of all things? If the answer to those last two questions is “yes,” then there is trust, and there is peace, the absence of fear.

Dr. Albrecht’s article addressed five basic fears. And I believe you can overcome any basic fear with three basic, yet powerful resources.

1. Get in God’s Word- search His Word and find a scripture to speak out when your mind is tempted to think the worst. And when I say, “speak out,” I mean literally, speak it out. Sometimes we have to hear it. Plus there’s authority in His Word. Your spirit will find strength as you speak His Word.
2. Pray- He knows your thoughts anyway. Be genuine and authentic and share them with Him. If you’re scared, tell Him; and ask Him to help you overcome your fear, same goes with anger, resentment or disappointment. He created you. He loves you. You’re His child. Share your heart with Him; even the unpleasant parts.
3. Sing- sometimes we simply don’t have any words. Song can be a powerful tool to connect the emotions of our heart with our Father who loves and cares for us.

In those times we feel we’re running across a dark driveway, completely vulnerable to the elements around us, know that someone is waiting for you with His front door open. You’re running safe into His arms.

My Song These Last Several Days:

Your Great Name ~ Natalie Grant

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your great name

All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of Your great name

Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your great name

The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your great name

Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your great name

The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your great name

Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of Your great name

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

Redeemer, My Healer, Lord Almighty

My savior, Defender, You are My King

Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man

You are high and lifted up; and all the world will praise Your great name

Songwriters: MICHAEL NEALE, KRISTEN L. NORDHOFF

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New Year, Same Life

We’re a week into the new year. A week ago today many people had packed up their Christmas décor, along with their reflections of the previous year, embracing the annual “ready, set, go” as our new starting line when the clock strikes midnight. As far as decorations, there wasn’t much packing for me to participate in this year. The kids and my Mom tackled the task. I picked out non-physically demanding packaging, like the nativity scene. While trying to delicately fit each piece back into the Styrofoam containers, I thought about my goal for 2014. Of course, I’ll share it. But brace yourself. You may think I set the bar as low as possible.

2014 New Year’s Resolution: Be Less Productive.

We quote Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” But are we sensitive to the seasons the Lord is moving us into and out of? Certainly many of us would choose to return to a warmer season, perhaps a beautiful summer day over the bitter cold ones we are encountering at the moment. This is literal and figurative.

Our temperatures here in the grand state of Oklahoma aren’t the coldest in the nation; but are definitely low enough to qualify for mention. How many of us would love to hop on a plane to the Caribbean? But that’s not going to change the reality of the conditions where we live. And sometimes we have to endure where we are until the season changes. It is in the different seasons that we grow and mature. The season shakes things up. No monotony. No apathy. No complacency. Sometimes the bitter cold makes us more aware and more appreciative for the warmth of brighter days.

My 2014 New Year’s Resolution, or what I would consider to be my New Year’s CHALLENGE, had to do with a season the Lord was speaking to my heart…rest.

After years and years of setting lofty goals, I felt challenged to rest.

My husband and I married in 1999. We started building our home at the end of 2000. We welcomed our first child, Brooklyn in 2001. Brandon went back to school in 2002 after a hiatus for the house and new baby. Jaron made his debut in 2003 with our first, yet brief, NICU stay. All the while Brandon and I were working and he was going to school.  2005, I had six surgeries in five months, and then my Dad passed away.  My Mom and I kept the wheel rolling until we sold the business. Caden arrived in 2006. Brandon received his congratulatory letter from OSU on the completion of his mechanical engineering degree and walked in the spring 2007 ceremony; only to find out he had been misadvised on a class and wouldn’t get his diploma until after taking the required class, which he did that summer. I started my pre-requisites for nursing school as soon as Brandon finished. We found out we were expecting again in 2008 and Gavin arrived in 2009 with our unwanted, but second short stay in NICU.  In 2010 I started nursing school at OU, had a couple year whirlwind, graduated in 2012 and started working in the NICU. 2013 felt like our year of transitioning.

When I was evaluating my personal, spiritual, and intellectual growth for the new year, I felt the Lord speak to my heart…REST.

Matthew 11:28, Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Why do we discredit it? Why do we neglect it? Why do we not prioritize it? We feel we can’t turn down someone’s request for the mere fact we need rest. We think we have to be the ones to step up to head the project, because rest isn’t a real reason to decline it. We assume if we’re pursuing good things and meeting goals then we’re fine and don’t need to simply sit. We conclude if we’re home resting, then we’re doing nothing.  When in all reality, it is something, and it’s something quite important. Even Jesus gave us an example to rest in Mark 6:31, “Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.’ He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.”

We’ve all heard that sometimes we have to disconnect to reconnect. Over the year, each time I began to allow feelings of guilt to seep in, I’d remind myself that I was meeting a goal, rising to the challenge to be less productive. And was it ironic at all that while I was intending to have a year of rest, the Lord already knew I would? I had no idea at the time that I’d be working three surgeries into 2014. While it takes a lot of energy to heal, I had what He desired of me...to be still, to be in the quiet, and to rest.

When reflecting on the year, I see how my loving God orchestrated my season of rest. For 2015, I hear Him speaking to my heart, “It is time.” Over and over, I hear His precious, gentle, inaudible voice speak, “It is time.”  2015 is the time to start the beginnings of what He has prepared, for what He has set before, for what He has planned. And the only way I could have ever known this is by those quiet moments.

Taking a year of intentional rest helps me to realize how productive being unproductive can be. We don’t always have to have measurable outcomes. We don’t always have to have evidence of completed tasks. Sometimes the biggest benefit, the grandest gift, the priceless pieces cannot be seen with our eyes, scheduled on our calendars, or fabricated with our hands. They have to be received in our hearts, nurtured and grown without our meddling and without rush.

The time we take at New Year’s to self-examine is an opportunity to adjust, to tweak, to elevate who we are and who the Lord has called us to be. We get this one life to live. It’s not about what we do. It’s about what we need to be our best. Yes, it’s a New Year, but it’s the same life, the same life we had back in those warm summer months. It’s what we decide to do with this life that makes the resolution worth making.

Bless you as you set out to conquer the goals set before you. Bless you as you pursue the one who placed them there. Bless you as you use your life in this New Year for His glory.

*In case you’re being called to a season of rest and quietness, I pray these scriptures encourage your heart.

Psalm 91:1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.

1 Samuel 12:7 Now stand here quietly before the Lord as I remind you of all the great things the Lord has done for you and your ancestors.

Psalm 62:1 I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.

Psalm 62:5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

1 Timothy 2:2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.

Joshua 1:13 “Remember what Moses, the servant of the Lord, commanded you: ‘The Lord your God is giving you a place of rest. He has given you this land.’

1 Kings 8:56 “Praise the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises he gave through his servant Moses.

Psalm 127:2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

Isaiah 28:12 God has told his people, “Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here. This is a place of quiet rest.” But they would not listen.

Isaiah 32:18 My people will live in safety, quietly at home. They will be at rest.

Jeremiah 31:25 For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing.”

Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

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One Magical Year To The Next

There is a family photo, which sits on our bathroom vanity, in a frame that reads, “Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.” And when this season comes around, when we gather the highlights of the year and send our cherished family and dear friends Christmas greetings, we feel incredibly blessed how the Lord gave so many fairy tale moments to such ordinary people like us. Some big news making it at the tail end of 2013 was the newest addition to our family, Libby Lou. We wrapped up a pretty box, put her inside and gave her to the kids on Christmas morning. She is another little black lab, like Miss Daisy Mae. Then in May, a little calico kitten joined our family; we named her, Callie, after Sheriff Callie on The Disney Channel.

Keeping up with the kids is undoubtedly our greatest achievement for the year. We’re not sure how we can go in four different directions. Again, these are the reasons it all feels a bit magical. We must have some pixie dust under our feet to keep up with the schedules!

Brooklyn turned 13 on March 4^th. We celebrated her milestone year with a painting party. We transformed the living room into a “studio” where an instructor directed the “artists” in painting their own tiger’s eye on a 16x20 canvas. It was a classy celebration for our classy girl. We’re so proud of the young lady she has become. Her interest and passion for playing trumpet in band, learning Spanish and having her own horse continue to grow. This fall we built a three-stall horse barn; so the next step is to find her fit for a horse. Nana is planning to bring her horse out too. And we can only anticipate the priceless memories they’ll create together.

Jaron is approaching his 11^th birthday on December 23^rd, our little eve of Christmas Eve baby. He continues to pursue his passion too…sports! He was on a successful basketball team through the winter and is back with the same group kicking off another season. Spring soccer was equally exciting; he even received MVP from one of their tournaments, a great honor considering the talent on that team. This fall, he stepped out for his very first season on the football field. But he surprised us all with his hidden theatrical niche this past March when he participated in the school talent show performing “In Summer,” from the number one animated film of all time, Frozen.

Caden should have a TV show titled, “Everybody Loves Caden.” It was a topic of conversation at his parent/teacher conference this year. Talk about a compliment. Suppose it’s part of God’s design for the third child. His “go with the flow” personality brings balance in a lot of different social settings, like in his family! Caden turned 8 on the 2^nd day of 2^nd grade, August 15^th. We celebrated with cupcakes at school followed by a pool party with lots of classmates at home. Caden followed in Jaron’s footsteps and has enjoyed his experiences in basketball, soccer & baseball, but he’s stepping out on a new adventure and starting gymnastics this winter.

Gavin celebrated his 5^th birthday Ninja Turtle style on July 13^th. We had family and friends over to swim, drink toxic ooze and eat nothing other than what a ninja turtle would eat, pizza! In August, he started pre-K at Caden’s school, so he is definitely feeling pretty grown-up going to school with the big kids. We are amazed how our socially uncomfortable child has become so, well…social! All in good time I suppose. Being the baby of the family, he gets lugged around to all the activities but we’ve never signed him up for his own. Well, say no more. He is joining his big brother and will start gymnastics this winter.

June marked a momentous occasion for us, and we headed to a couple’s only resort in St. Lucia to celebrate it—our 15^th anniversary! It’s hard not to get emotional thinking about those 18 year-old kids who had many unanswered questions but knew two things: they loved God and they loved each other. We aren’t even the same people 15 years later; we’re better, we’re even more in love…with God and with each other. That is definitely something to celebrate! Click here for the “Packing for Possibilities” story. We’re blessed to share it.

What made to be a really fun part of our year was that our children assumed we weren’t going on a family vacation since we went on a couple’s trip. Unbeknownst to them, we had secretly booked our annual Disney trip and had plans underway, details lined out and reservations made. We hadn’t been to Disney WORLD in almost five years and we surprised them the morning we left. That story and the video of the surprise are also here on the blog titled, “The Best Kept Secret” and “I’m So Jealous”. The surprise, the trip, the time together was nothing less than magical.

Brandon continues on with his engineering work at Quanta and I continue to love on the sick babies through my nursing ministry in the NICU. We frequently express how much we love what we do. And the Lord continues to stretch us and give us vision. We share our lives through blogging and pursue the plans God has through a variety of speaking opportunities. He has opened doors with nursing schools, elementary schools, women’s groups and churches. Using our story to educate on the different facets of patient care, to address bullying and the importance of a healthy self-image, to motivate, challenge and inspire, as well as helping people examine their purpose and the power of being an overcomer has been fulfilling, healing and challenging in a way only the Lord could orchestrate. Please consider how our story could be used in your special events, workshops, seminars, classes or churches.  Visit the Speaking Events page for details and contact information. We ask for your prayers as we follow His leading in growing this endeavor.

Our year certainly wouldn’t have been what it was without the people we shared it with. We want to thank all of you who supported us to reach our annual $500 March of Dimes goal for 2014. Our family joined fellow Saint Francis NICU co-workers and their families for the walk. Looking toward the 2015 walk this spring, we once again, ask you to consider making a donation to this organization which blesses so many families in getting their sick babies home. click here to donate

More magical moments included getting to take the kids to their very first college football game. We got to see Oklahoma State win over Iowa State at the October 4^th home game. Over Mother’s Day weekend we headed to Chicago for our nephew, Charlie’s baby dedication. It was a fast trip, but a celebration we couldn’t miss. Other family moments included time with our England family, Pam & John, when they visited in September and then in October with my cousin Austin and her girls, Taylor and Maddy. Brief time yet cherished memories.

Whatever it is 2015 may hold, we pray you are blessed as you see His hand at work orchestrating your very own fairy tale.

There’s nothing more magical than feeling His love,

Brandon, Heather,

Brooklyn, Jaron, Caden, & Gavin Meadows

and Daisy Mae, Libby Lou & Callie Rae too!

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Comfort in Support

Sometimes we get things we don’t even know we need. What a perfect topic to cover at Christmas. There are so many different gift-giving approaches. • There’s the giver who buys something for someone, because they mentioned how they needed it or wanted it. • There’s the giver who buys something because it’s an item the giver themselves loves so much and they just imagine the receiver loving it equally the same. • There’s the giver who wants to completely surprise the receiver with something they know the person needs, but maybe never asked for it or mentioned it.

I’ve been in all the above situations.

When it comes to Christmas or Birthdays, I love wish lists. Some people find it offensive, but I find it to be incredibly efficient! It’s seamless picking out an item you know your loved one really wants. And then to see them open it??? Well, that right there is absolutely fabulous! There’s such excitement and joy.

Then, there have been items I so much enjoy that I want to get them for people I love. Like PETALS Strawberry Pepper Jam (petals74429@yahoo.com), or a Bath and Body Works Eucalyptus Spearmint Candle, or a gift card for a pedicure. You know…some of those little indulgences we don’t always spend the money for ourselves?

I’ve been more on the receiving end of the last item in question. I think back to our wedding and to when we were beginning to have our babies. Yes, we registered; however, there were so many items we never knew we needed. But our loved ones sure did. And they gave them. Included were both treasured pieces and practical items; things I couldn’t have imagined going without.

While I’ve given gifts that I didn’t personally love, but gave because the receiver did; and while I’ve also given gifts from a wish list, there’s one in particular I specifically remember giving several years ago; it was one that was never requested, but I bought it anyway. My Dad-in-law is a homebuilder/remodeler, so I gave him a painting of Jesus as a boy, and his father Joseph the carpenter. Although he had never requested the piece, he was delighted to receive it. I feel I was the one to end up with the gift; for the memory, and for how my heart is touched every time I’m in his office and see it hanging on the wall. I bought it for him, not because he’s my husband’s father, but because of my own love for him and my own knowledge of those things dear to his heart.

Well, here it is, the time of year we put so much focus on gifts and I’ve received what Jesus knows is the greatest gift in my life, those most dear to my heart; people.

Everyone has struggles. There’s power in identifying them; then we don’t feel captive to them. And one thing I know about myself is I am a people person. Being around others inspires me, refreshes me and rejuvenates me. As you can imagine, having two surgeries within thirty days of each other really took me out of the loop. Like all the loops, my kids’ activities loop, my work loop, my church loop, my friends loop. It was kind of nice the first go around. I rested, I read, I caught up on all my favorite shows, but as I mentioned in “Why, Oh Why,” I hadn’t planned for this last procedure, so I wasn’t eager to sit around several weeks on top of already sitting around. Sitting. And laying. And sitting. And laying. Blah.

I’m very sensitive to the seeds of depression, because I’ve been there. And I know isolation is the growth media for depression. So having already a month of retreat, I felt the dread in my heart of having more. Everything in moderation. Right? We all need time of solitude, but too much of anything is not a good thing. Therefore, I shamelessly and somewhat pitifully invited, welcomed, asked, or maybe even begged for visitors and company; choose to insert whichever word to describe it, different moments appropriately apply. However, I believe it takes strength to identify our weaknesses, and it makes us even stronger to protect ourselves against them.

There can be such beauty in humility. Such value in vulnerability. Such fulfillment in openness. Although, I could have kept this next procedure quietly to myself, as I do some, I shared it and in return received the gift of what is written:

Philemon 1:7 Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people.

The Lord uses people to GIVE-- whether it's wrapped or not, we get gifts so often. Those gifts of joy and comfort are just what I needed. It’s lonely sometimes. It can be scary. It feels painful. And I’m speaking to you, dear friend. I could write this for myself in my own little journal, without regard for sentence variety or structure, but I write this for you. Because you sometimes feel lonely. You sometimes feel scared and are in pain; all the many different types of pain. But I encourage you to find comfort, even if you have to ask for it.

This last surgery, my Aunt Donna walked into my hospital room with a symbol of comfort. It was Mouse! No, I’m not referring to the classy mouse who can so perfectly don polka dots and big yellow shoes, because you know how much The Meadows love that mouse too. But no, this was Mouse, the Puffalump Aunt Donna got for me when I was originally injured back in 1988. Mouse went with me to most of my surgeries. She’d sit at the foot of my bed when we’d roll back and she’d have a hat, a mask, and yes, sometimes even surgical booties. She was such a source of comfort to me. And having Mouse sitting in my hospital room this time, kept me thinking, “Wow! How far we’ve come. How much has changed.” “Just a stuffed animal,” one may be inclined to think, but I see a focal point, a focal point of comfort.

And then let’s talk about the people! Oh my! My precious husband, at my side; one tech sweetly described him as “hovering.” He’s so protective, and although he doesn’t don an outfit of armor, he is most definitely my knight. And the kids. Their world is so expanded by the experiences they’ve had with me as their mom. They were born into the story and although they’ve observed some unpleasant and even grotesque sites, I pray it’s been an advantage to develop them into the people God intends them to be. And my Mom and my Aunt, those women who have walked this very long road and still show no signs of weariness in their support and their pride for the survivor they desired me to become.

Bits of comfort walked through my door the next day. When I was mentally preparing myself to spend the day alone, as I knew my husband would have to be in the office and my children at school. God sent His gifts, my nursing school friend, Misty and her little boy Jeremiah. More followed: my friend, mentor and previous professor at OU, Rhonda Lawes, spending the afternoon with me sharpening me, challenging me both spiritually and intellectually.

Then my team! For a girl who has NO athletic ability, I love referring to my co-workers as my team, because we demonstrate qualities that make a team great, which in turn is not only vitally beneficial for our patients, but rewarding to us as friends. Carrie, Haley, Carly and Molly spruced up my day with gifts in hand and laughter of heart. Oh what comfort! What joy! As if the Lord hadn’t packed in enough comfort I so desired, my in-laws topped it off by bringing us dinner. My Dad-in-law observing how I was drifting off, mentioned how he felt it was time for them to go so I could rest. And I told him no, because although I could hardly stay awake, I just wanted to hear their voices. Comfort.

The next day, my precious friends Beverly and Michele, women I admire and feel strengthened just with their presence and conversation. Comfort. That afternoon, even my cousin, brought me my very first eggnog malt from Braum’s. Acts of comfort.

After coming home, I had a full week of meals provided from friends. Truly it was the hand of Jesus extended; meeting basic needs in the most personal way. And after a week of love poured out, my best friend, Amber of over twenty years came to take care of me. Even getting on to me, as any best friend would, for my determination to attend my co-worker’s wedding, an event I couldn’t miss for the deep admiration I have for her as a person, as a young woman, and as a nurse. Some moments just can’t be missed.

Not a day has gone by without a call from someone. And even several visits. Personal, come to my house kind of visits. People, I don’t live by anything. Not one person who came to visit, popped by on their way to run errands or Christmas shop, they intentionally came to visit. Like my precious, precious, dearest friend, Heather who shared an entire day, seriously, an entire day with me, right before she was suppose to be leaving for a road trip to Massachusetts. Comfort.

You may think I’ve named everyone. I haven’t. It’d be a book. And that’s just from this one procedure. This one procedure that I feel I’ve done a million times. In almost twenty-seven years, I imagined people eventually running dry on concern and compassion. I mean. It’s not like it’s life threatening at this point. It’s just another toggle mark on the count, another one under the belt. It’s an investment in furthering the immense quality of life I’ve been able to experience. But above all, what I've had the privilege of receiving is so much love; love which never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.

We all may think we know what we want. We all may have an idea of what gift would benefit or suit us best. My lesson? Maybe we do sometimes. I’m so glad I opened the door for people to share love. I needed it. I needed to feel comfort and friendship and joy and laughter. If I had made a list, it would have had, “visitors and conversation” on it. God knew exactly what I needed and He has provided.

If you committed your time to read this post, please let the scripture take root in your heart. You may need to allow others to refresh you, and you may need to flat out ask for it. On the other side, you may be just what someone needs. Oh, it might seem like you’re not doing much by picking up the phone, but that conversation may be more timely than you could have thought or imagined.

Love. Joy. Comfort. Kindness. Refreshed. Those are gifts. On the list or not; those are gifts.

Philemon 1:7 Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people.

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And the Winner Is….

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Why, Oh Why?

Last night I packed for a trip. I’ll be gone for three to five days. And while I know I’ll be taken good care of, I’m not too excited about going. But I grabbed items which bring me comfort and encouragement; my soft navy blue polar fleece blanket, I’ll take my pillow before leaving, and I packed three pictures from my house; one of our trip to Hawaii, one of our last visit to see Mickey, and one of us from last year taken at home by our fence. The photos help me focus on what I have, over what I’ve lost. Has their been loss? Immense. Has their been pain? Excruciating. But I’ve experienced a far greater portion of joy, peace and happiness. And that is what gripped my heart as I was pulling out of my doctor’s office last week after scheduling today’s surgery. Before my most recent surgery, I had a very small area of scar tissue tear on my back. This was a reoccurring problem after my injury during the rehabilitating years, and on into my adolescence as my body was growing from that of a child to an adult. However, this was a scenario I no longer anticipated having over twenty-six years later. Regardless, it had to be addressed, so when my surgeon came in to do surgical markings for the last operation, I asked him if we could have an “adder” and take care of that area. He examined it. He then informed me it would be more than a simple release of scar tissue. He said the dreaded words, “We need to do a skin graft.” Yuck. To say those are painful is a bit of an understatement. It’s surprising to some when I explain that it’s not even the area released which causes such discomfort as it is the donor site.

Addressing the issue is always more than the obvious. Having another surgery this year was not in this planner’s plan. It meant making arrangements for the kids, missing activities with them, along with all the holiday parties during my most favorite time of year, and, it meant regrouping my commitments at work. I was bummed. I was frustrated. I was disappointed. Those emotions came in to check quickly.

I left my doctor’s office, pulled out on Utica, stopped at the light, and began crying. Through my tears, I sang, “Thank you, Lord. I just want to thank you. I just want to thank you. I just want to take a little time right now, and say, ‘Thank you, Lord,’ for all You’ve done for me.” It’s a minor inconvenience to spend the last part of my year recovering from what is, yes, a highly unpleasant procedure, but not a complicated one with uncertain outcomes. This trip to the hospital and stay in the burn center won’t necessarily be fun, but it will all be okay. In consideration of this beautiful life God has provided me to live, it’s petty to complain about it, even to grumble about it in my own heart.

The “why such emotion and tears” thought may arise. Why cry? Why sob? It was out of my immense gratitude and deep conviction, because there were so many, many times I begged the Lord to allow me to die. I didn’t want to live a life in this body. I didn’t want to walk the road ahead of me. I didn’t understand why I lived and my brother died. I couldn’t imagine a future for me. I didn’t have life experience to help me reason it out, and even at that, I don’t know if I would have ever been able to find reason. I didn’t have coping skills to work through the physical, emotional and psychological trauma. I asked God, “Why?” I prayed prayers, “Please let me come to Heaven and be with you, let me see Jon. I don’t want to live here.” For years, I mean for years I prayed like this. What came out of it wasn’t pretty, but necessary. Much of what I felt, I internalized. Being the brave little girl was a role assigned to me early, and one I felt I had to uphold. Which is why an eating disorder was the outlet for me to channel my emotion privately. The path was ugly, depression was as real as the sun in the sky, but a light I couldn’t see.

But the uglier it got the more I cried out to my God. And the entire time, all those years, He was listening. All those years, all that time, He had a plan. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude that He didn’t allow me to die, not from the physical trauma of that tragic accident, and neither from the emotional wounds thereafter. No, He held me. He never let go. And He was speaking, “Heather, I have a plan, to prosper you and not harm, to give you hope and a future.” He was saying, “All things work together for those who are called according to My purposes, and my child, I have a purpose for your life.”

I am going on this trip today. I am going to be back in the place where it all began so many years ago. I’m going to stand in awe of what the precious people there did to save my life. I’m going to meet some new faces, learn some new names and thank them for caring for people like me, whose lives are forever changed, but whose lives are always worth living, because God is greater, His ways are higher and His plans are perfect.

In my distress I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help.

From His temple He heard my voice;

my cry came before Him, into His ears.

Psalm 18:6

NIV

*scriptures mentioned: Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:28

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Time for Investing

Investments are a very important piece of an individual’s assets. We research and ask questions about investments because we know it is important for our future. We only have so many years of earning power. As we age, we understand the probability that our bodies won’t have the ability or stamina to maintain a full-time job. Therefore, we take a little of what we make now, to invest for a time to come. We do without a percentage of our earnings, to tuck away, to allow and grow, to use later. Brilliant. Except for when things don’t go as we plan. One of my favorite movies is Cinderella Man, the story of James Braddock, a boxer who exhibited the utmost character in a time of detrimental circumstances. You may be familiar with his story. If not, you’re certainly familiar of the history, the time in October 1929 known as Black Tuesday, when the stock market crashed and the country experienced the ten-year turmoil known as The Great Depression.

Our generation counted it’s own financial losses a few years back. The recession of 2007-2009 had a great negative impact on countless people’s investments. We watched the government step in with the Troubled Asset Recovery Program (TARP) bailing out the banks and the auto industry. The housing bubble and credit crisis provided this generation it’s own experiences with unwanted investment outcomes.

We track portfolios of stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, cash equivalents, certificates of deposit.  We keep records on our 401K and Roth IRA, we watch our stock tickers, we manage our brokerage accounts, we keep tabs on the Wall Street Journal. We work to insure a strong financial future, but how much attention to detail do we invest when it comes to our relationships?

Just like our financial investments there are life investments we must work to build, work to grow, and work to protect if they are worth any value to us. But what happens when a relationship experiences it’s own “crisis” or it’s own “Black Tuesday?” Do we walk away? Count it a total loss? Or do we fight for what we’ve already got in it? Do we fight for what could be recovered, for what could be re-invested?

In every single detail of our life, we must know, there is an enemy on the prowl. This enemy seeks to devour (I Peter 5:8). We know his intent is to steal, kill and destroy (John10:10). But the better news is, we know who wins! We know greater is He who is in you and me, than that loser thief who is in the world I John4:4. (Okay, loose translation on that last one, but stay with me.) The point is, identify the source of the attack. Call it for what it is and face it head on! We are overcomers! Mighty Men (and women) of Valor (Judges 6)!

People are not disposable. They’ll hurt you. They’ll bruise you. They’ll mistreat you. And I’m not talking about strangers; I’m talking about people we have RELATIONSHIPS with. An offense doesn’t have the impact coming from someone we’re not close to, as it does coming from the person we are. So how in the world do we handle those situations?

Again….can’t repeat this enough—know the source. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, and the serpent would love nothing more than to destroy it.

Be strong and courageous. Don’t close the door. Don’t walk away. Who wins if you call “uncle” or tap out? People you love are worth fighting for; relationships are worth saving. And it takes a strong, courageous spirit to commit to resolution. Remember what the Lord spoke to Joshua after the death of Moses. Joshua was commissioned to lead the people across the Jordan River into the Promised Land. Three times the Lord told Joshua to be strong and courageous, Joshua 1:6, 7 & 9. Three times! Why did the Lord repeat it? Because it wasn’t an easy assignment. And it wasn’t a simple suggestion. It was a command. When we are faced with having to do something difficult or challenging, remember Joshua 1:9, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

I highly recommend reading The Bait of Satan. This book about forgiveness points out how the enemy uses offense to bait people. So guard yourself against offense and walk in forgiveness.

Embrace the storm. Another quality point from the book is the concept that when a tree is planted it has a shallow root system. Much like the beginning stages of relationships we form. Storms stimulate the tree to send it roots down deeper for stability. When we face a disagreement or an argument (the storm), we know what the outcome of the relationship can be if both parties refuse offense and reject bitterness (a stronger, deeper more genuine relationship).

Finally, remember, there is life and death in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Guard your words. Resist the temptation to share your hurt with any other than the person you need to seek resolution with.

There is a relationship management system far greater than any we can implement for our finances. Seek God’s face. Get in His Word. Pray for wisdom and understanding. Relationships are a very important piece of an individual’s assets in life. Your mutual funds aren’t going to celebrate your life when it’s over at your memorial service. Your IRA isn’t going to tell your children the stories of love and compassion you intend to leave them.

Yes, we only have so many years of earning power. Invest wisely.

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Like a Good Neighbor

Mark 12:28-30 NLT

28 One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29 Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. 30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ 31 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

Now isn’t that something to take in? Think about it. Loving your neighbor is as equally important as loving the Lord? Does this mean just the neighbors who live to the right and to the left and those neighbors who are directly across the street? Only those who keep their lawns manicured and there parties quiet? I certainly hope not, because that would mean number one, I’m excluded from this commandment, and number two, I wouldn’t receive the benefit of this commandment. Is it because The Meadows have been known to let our yard get out of hand a time or two, or because we typically have loud parties with the music blasting?

While some may agree that it should be, it’s actually because we don’t live in a neighborhood. This country girl doesn’t have a next-door neighbor, but I have neighbors. Those of us in rural areas consider anyone within a few miles to be a neighbor. And after the experience we just had, I’m seeing a great illustration of what Jesus meant when He commanded us to love our neighbor.

Yesterday morning was like every other. The dogs woke up and needed to go outside. Brandon let them out, but kept checking to see if they were back at the door since this wintry storm was moving in and the temperatures would be falling. We expected them to do their business and come in for breakfast, but they weren’t around. Not ones to worry, we figured maybe they had gone down to my Mom’s or to visit our neighbors, Eric, Shirley and Jordan. They’re quite social, so we weren’t alarmed, just a little surprised since we had recently had them groomed, meaning they didn’t have as much insulation against the weather.

Although we figured they were out chasing rabbits or running the fields, our concern began to grow with each passing hour. Even if they’re out all day, they’re always home by dark. But not last night. And that was not a good sign.

Brandon, Brooklyn and Jaron loaded up and began driving around, shining flashlights, hollering their names. I made phone calls asking those down our road if they had seen them. Our neighbors who were out taking pictures in the afternoon never saw them. Some of the neighbor boys who had been out hunting hadn’t seen them either. No one spotted them. All day.

We needed divine intervention to find our puppies. And we believe God loves us so much that He cares for every detail in our lives. As a parent, I’ve searched for missing toys because I know how much it means to my child, not because of my own connection to it, but the joy I have to see the joy of my child. I know the Lord feels the same toward us. And I know, whichever way this went, He cared for us; He loves us; we’re His children.

A Facebook post asking for just that, for prayer, rendered so much love; so many expressions of concern and compassion. And then a neighbor, a couple miles away, went out in the night to look for our pets. And about 10:30pm as I was going to turn the porch light on, hoping it would help them make their way back, I noticed another vehicle scooting along with a spot light shining on the pasture. It brought me to tears seeing how much people care. I even received a text today from Misty, one of my dear nursing school friends offering to come help me look for them while her son was at school. People, this is loving your neighbor as yourself. Every person who searched, every person who shared their photo on Facebook, every person who offered to help, every person who prayed were all doing exactly what Jesus commanded, loving others as they love themselves. So many were helping us, not because of the emotional connection they have to our pets, but because of the emotional connection they have to theirs. They understand how hard it is to lose a pet and they were doing for us what they would do if they had lost their own. Loving their neighbor as themselves.

This morning I made nine phone calls to area shelters and veterinary clinics. One of those calls was placed at 8:54 a.m. And it’s one I almost didn’t make because it’s so far from our home. But I wanted to do everything possible. Eight minutes later, the clinic called me back and said, “We think this lady who called may have your dogs.” I was shaking and holding back tears while writing her name and number down. I called her and it went to voicemail. I left her a message and immediately texted her a photo of them. She texted back and said, “Yep. That’s them.” Well, after another phone call and a quick twenty-one mile trip, we got our puppies back!!!!

The Lord works on our behalf so often. Sometimes I think we minimize it or maybe we just overlook it. Sometimes we miss the details to be astounded by His hand at work in our life.

Our dogs are two black labs who love to run the fields. Our dogs don’t wear collars because we’re afraid they’d get caught on a pasture fence. Our dogs’ coats are shaved and yesterday was bitterly cold; we had snow. Our dogs wandered off our family’s160 acres to an adjacent piece of land. Our dogs were taken in by a man who was out caring for his cattle. Our dogs were fed. Our dogs were given a soft bed made from a cushion and covered with a sheet. Our dogs were loved on and cared for all day yesterday and all last night. Our dogs even had an egg prepared for their breakfast this morning.

It’s almost unbelievable. I see how the Lord cares for every detail of our life. No sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it gets cold. Sometimes we get hungry. Sometimes we are lost. But there’s nothing like being found. There’s nothing like coming home. And sometimes we need a neighbor to help us get there.

I’m thankful to The Schneiders who are my neighbors. Yes, they live over twenty miles from my home, but they loved this family as Jesus told us to love.

Be blessed, neighbors!

Wonderful to have had resources available-- willing people wanting to reunite pets with their families. Thank you to all the animal shelters and veterinary clinics who took my name and number today!

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No Big Deal

“Hey baby. I was just calling to let you know I am saying prayers for you for tomorrow. I love you. You’ve been on my mind a lot, and everything is going to be just fine, I just hate that you have to go through this. But anyhow I love you and call me if you have time, if not, I totally understand. You know I’m with you. Bye baby.” This was the message I received Monday night after my shift. It was my Aunt Donna touching base with me before my 9am surgery on Tuesday. I hadn’t given the procedure much thought. I had acknowledged it with my co-workers through casual routine conversation of when we each worked again. Nurses frequently ask, “When are you back?” It’s nice to know if you’ll be working with the same team, especially if our days are scheduled in a row. You get in a groove with those you work with frequently, which can help make things go smooth. But apart from a few mentions of being absent a couple of weeks, I hadn’t really discussed this surgery.

Is it because I consider it confidential or feel it exposes my privacy? Not at all. I didn’t call and tell anyone, or make a post, because it feels, after this many surgeries, it’s just not a big deal. I assume people probably get sick of hearing about it. I’ve got oodles of scar tissue, tightness and constriction, and sometimes it seems never ending. Same song. Five hundredth verse. [Not really, but too numerous to count.] I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I have a pity party. Sometimes I get so sick of this. No matter how many years go by, one surgery takes me back to the thoughts I had as a kid. Detesting the fact I was hunched over, barely walking, feeling like an old woman. As active and mobile as I normally am, one surgery takes me back. I try to minimize the dread. I try to focus on the perks of surgery, the nap and those warm blankets. And after reminding myself about some of the health issues people are facing, these surgeries seem like a breeze.

Nevertheless, I was reminded Tuesday how blessed I am with so many people who care. By way of my Mom’s Facebook post came numerous messages, calls and texts, even a pie, cupcake and flowers from my sweet neighbor. It got me thinking… how often do we cut ourselves short of love? By keeping quiet I was cutting short the care and concern people I love wanted to show.

While there are some things I hold personally quiet, most of life I feel blessed to share. After all, life is about living, and living encompasses the people we’ve been given to share this life with, so why put up barriers? Disconnection happens when we guard ourselves and it can fade into the dangerous effects of isolation. What an opportunity for the enemy to convince someone that no one cares.

We told the kids a few days before about my surgery. We discussed the plans for the time I’d be down. Mom having surgery can be scary for kids, but they handle it well when they know there’s a plan. And I was surprised when my daughter asked if she could go with me. I had never given it any thought that she had no idea the processes involved in going in for an operation. So Brandon and I told her if it was okay with her teachers and her schoolwork, then absolutely she could go.

This time was very different for me. It’s what I would even consider special. Mothers always want to be the caretakers, the comforters, the one in control. The tables were turned for me Tuesday. My precious girl walked through the doors with me when they called my name. She sat near when the nurse started my IV, something Brooklyn had never seen before. She watched as Dr. Kirk came in to make his surgical markings. She prayed with her Dad and me before I headed out of the pre-op area. She waited those three hours of my operation and listened intently as Dr. Kirk drew explanations of the procedure. Brooklyn helped me get dressed and put my shoes on for me. She escorted me to and helped me in the car. As humbling as it was, I am grateful for the opportunity to have seen my daughter as I did the other day.

In the realities of this injury, stood the miracle of it. While twenty-six years ago my family was focusing on when it would be “over,” the reality was never. My life will never be what it would have been. Life will never be the same, but life is still good. In some ways, I think it is even better. When faced with never walking again, being able to is treasured. When weighing the chances of a fulfilling relationship, having one is gold. When accepting minimal possibility of pregnancy, children are everything. While most people don’t set their minds on mobility, marriage or children until the topics present themselves, I thought on them from the delicate age of seven. I feared I had lost everything, before I had the chance to live it. Therefore, today, it’s hard to focus on that which was lost when there’s so much that’s been given.

The focus isn’t on the scars or the pain, the repetitive surgeries or the inconvenience of recovering. For me, the gift isn’t merely about living and having survived the injury. My focus is on what I thought I’d have to live without. And both were represented and very present with me on Tuesday, the hope of a family, my husband and my child.

It is a big deal. Surgeries can be complicated. None are without risks. But what’s a bigger deal? Having the strength to face them. Having the love of my family and my friends. It’s a big deal to my heart having others concerned for me. I am filled with joy for what I’ve been given, overwhelming joy.

Colossians 1:11-12

We also pray that you will be strengthened with all His glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to His people, who live in the light.

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I am so Jealous

We are Once Upon a Time fans. I know, probably not any surprise considering how much we love Disney and embrace fairy tales. Last season the writers creatively connected Wizard of Oz characters to the Storybrooke scene. If you watch the show you’re with me already, if not, hang in there, this post still has something to offer. Do you remember how the Wicked Witch became green? Well, Once Upon a Time told us her and the Evil Queen, Regina, were half sisters. Regina was favored, in the fact she wasn’t abandoned by their mother as the Wicked Witch was, and furthermore, because Rumpelstiltskin chose to make Regina his apprentice over the Wicked Witch. Creating the perfect soil to sow seeds of jealousy. Hence the saying, “green with envy;” the Wicked Witch began to gain her color.

I realize it’s mostly just a saying, but I feel a bit saddened when I hear the phrase, “I’m so jealous.” Philippians 4:13 is often quoted, but look at the scripture right before it, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” Philippians 4:12 (NIV). Look at those words, “the secret of being content in any and every situation…” This is why I use the word “sad” to describe how I feel when I hear people so freely express feelings of jealousy. No matter how little we have, we can still count what we do, and no matter how much we have, there is always someone who has more. For me, it’s an issue of contentment.

But recently I identified with a feeling of jealousy and it became real to me from reading this passage.

“Jealousy isn’t a character trait that we sing about or write about often. We ignore it because we don’t understand it. Jealousy has a negative connotation because for us it’s usually the by-product of pride. But jealousy is a beautiful expression of God’s love. It’s a jealous love that wants all of you- all to Himself. And if you’ve ever been in love, you know it’s the most passionate form of love there is.” Mark Batterson, All In

I rejoice that the jealousy I felt was not rooted in pride. The words came off the page to me because they are basically words my husband and I had ourselves said in regard to our family vacation. We are fairly guarded when it comes to taking time for our family. We budget in a family vacation every year. We put money back each month as if it were a bill to pay. We strive to avoid what Ellie and Carl did from the movie Up who never made it to Paradise Falls, because they had to keep busting their coin jar for unexpected needs which would arise.

A few months back my Mom made a comment in good humor, but I took note. She said, “One thing is for sure, when you want us to go you invite us and when you don’t, you don’t.” I felt a little selfish. We didn’t want anyone to go with us this year. We hadn’t had a vacation with just our kids in three years. We have less than five years until our oldest will graduate from high school and we all know how the nuclear family changes after that. Brandon and I love when our parents have joined us on vacations. Like in January 2003 when my Mom & Dad and Brandon’s Mom & Dad went with us for Brooklyn’s first trip to Disney World. It was a trip we’d never get to all do together again. My Dad passed away two years later. Another one was in September 2012 when Brandon’s parents, my Mom and my Aunt all went with us to Hawaii to celebrate my graduation from nursing school. I kept saying, “I am so thankful we all are here together.” It was such a celebration, a gift of being together, much of which we had sacrificed for my time at OU.

But as much as we have loved having those big family vacations, it adds a different dynamic to the trip. Our attention is divided, in good ways; nevertheless, still divided. This time we wanted to give all of our attention to our children and we wanted them to give us all of their attention. It sounds selfish doesn’t it? It sounds like we’re jealous for them? And honestly, we are.

I get it. I get how the Lord is jealous for us. Exodus 34:14 NIV, “Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”

“God isn’t just jealous. And when God says something more than once, you need to think twice about what it means. You don’t belong to God once. You belong to God twice. Once by virtue of creation. Twice by virtue of redemption. He gave us life via creation. And when we were dead in our sin, He gave us eternal life via redemption. We don’t owe Him one life. We owe Him two lives! And that is why God is doubly jealous.” Mark Batterson, All In

In reflecting on the eight days we had with our children, I’m glad we’re jealous for them. I’m glad we’re over the top about allotting time together. I’m glad we don’t allow them to make family vacations, friend vacations. I’m glad we go without some things through the year, to go all in for a week. What we got in return? Seeing Brooklyn and Caden walk through the park holding hands on day 2 and still seeing those moments when Jaron took Gavin by the hand on day 8. Brooklyn giving Gavin a piggyback ride when his little legs just got too tired. Sharing Caden’s massive ice cream sandwich while waiting on the Spectromagic parade. Getting in an enormous family sized raft at Blizzard Beach. Standing in lines and talking. Observing the magic come alive to our five-year old and still see our oldest impressed.

It doesn’t have to be Disney. It’s not about Mickey or parades or fireworks or delicious dinners. It’s about focusing on the precious people we have for the priceless yet limited time we get.

Seasons change. Enjoy each one as it comes. Soak up the moments. And remember, as much as you want to be with your children, so your Heavenly Father wants to be with you.

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The Best Kept Secret

A few years ago Disney Vacation Club had a slogan; “The Best Kept Secret.” Secrets are so hard to keep, but the surprise is so worth the wait. Anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to keep a secret. Well, that is when the news is good. I can hold on to bad news forever. I mean how fun is it to spread gloom? But happy stuff? It’s so hard to hold in. To see the joy and excitement of sharing something good is a challenge to refrain from. But I do when needed, because there’s nothing I love more than a surprise.

So what’s so special about a surprise? Well, let’s look back to some scriptures which hold some amazing surprises.

Jesus turned the water into wine. There’s so much I love about this passage, like it was fine wine, none of that soda pop wine, but especially because it was about how much our Heavenly Father cares for the details in our life. It would have been socially embarrassing for this couple to run out of wine, but the Lord surprised them and met their need on their incredibly special day. (John 2:1-11)

Another surprise was the feeding of 5,000. Don’t you know those disciples were concerned when Jesus blessed the five loaves and two fish? But man. How surprised were they when they not only fed thousands of people but also had twelve baskets of leftovers? (Matthew 14:15-21)

And then there is the parting of The Red Sea. Can you imagine the Israelites getting to the shoreline? Pharaoh and his army hot on their trail. A body of water before them. Don’t you know their hearts were beating out of their chest? The adrenaline pumping through their bodies. And then Moses takes his staff and parts that water with an aisle of opportunity and safety before them. What a surprise! (Exodus 14:10-31)

Now these stories may not surprise you today, but they should. They should get you super excited just like the moment they occurred. These stories may have settled into our spirits as something common. Growing up with these stories, hearing this our entire lives, may cause us to lose sight of how impressive these miracles are and cause us to forget they were surprises.

My take away is that God loves to surprise his children. And just as He has surprised us countless times over, so we love to surprise the children He gave to us. The joy is all ours to see the excitement on our children’s faces. It blesses us to surprise them. And we gave it our best shot these past several months.

Seven months ago we made reservations to visit Disney World. Six months ago we booked all of our Disney World Dining. Over a month ago we chose all of our FastPass+ selections. All the while our children didn’t know a thing.

Brandon had this fabulous idea to keep it a secret and surprise them the morning of our departure. Let me tell you, he’s the reserved character in this relationship; therefore, it’s not nearly as difficult for him to keep things to himself as it is for me, the one who loves to talk about everything. But this last week he felt the challenge too.

It took a lot of planning…and discipline not to say a word. Typically, we do a 30-day countdown calendar. We get a poster board at Wal-Mart, lay out the grid and Brandon adds specific artwork relative to where we are going. But not this time. This time, we came up with an elaborate plan and packed up without them knowing. Our story went like this….

‘Twas the night before vacation and the Meadows children had no clue! I said, “Come on guys. We’ve got to get to bed. I signed up to work extra tomorrow because they are short a few nurses. Grandma can’t keep you all, so Dad is going to drop you off at Nana’s in the morning on his way to work. You’ll have to get up early because he’s got to get to the office for a meeting.”

In the preceding days, I utilized their time at school to hoard away clothes in our safe room closet. They were packed a week before we left. The most difficult part was to play it cool when inside I was screaming, “We’re going to Disney World!!!!”

All great surprises are worth waiting for, because the memory of the joy it brings lasts a lifetime.

Our children have had a Disney vacation nearly every year of their life, but we imagine the year they got one, that they didn’t think they were getting one, will be one they treasure throughout their years. We hope they feel overjoyed, we hope they feel loved and special, we hope they soak up every ounce of fun each surprise life has to offer.

And we hope, in it all, they see Jesus, the One who came full of surprises. Because who would’ve thought a King would come in a manger? Big surprise. And the surprises kept coming. And they continue on today. He has this AMAZING plan, and we don’t even know all the details. He reveals it in His perfect timing.

My husband and I planned a trip we knew our kids would enjoy. We waited to reveal it when it would mean the most. And we were blessed to bless them. What joy it gave us. The same joy I pray we bring to our Heavenly Father when He surprises us!

He has the best kept secrets!

click here to visit our family's All Things Disney

Sure love being able to replay this moment.  It was definitely worth the wait.

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Who Can Be Against Us?

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:31 NIV

Romans chapter 8 is one of my favorite passages. In this one chapter, I find scriptures there that convict me, challenge me and comfort me. But verse 31 came to mind not long ago on a day I was working.

After my twelve-hour shift, I traveled those thirty-five miles home, opened the door, hung my bag on the wall, emptied my pockets and got ready for bed. It’s a typical routine when I’m scheduled back the following day. But my husband seemed to think I had had an exceptionally grueling day. I clarified to him it wasn’t a bad one or a bad assignment, I just felt as if this family thought I was against them the whole day. He asked, “Why would they think you were against them?” And I answered, “Because their baby is in the NICU and they don’t want him to be.”

It’s a typical day at work caring for other people’s babies. But it’s incredibly unnatural. See, moms anticipate and fantasize about the moments regarding their child’s birth. They’ll come in with detailed birth plans. Some will decline epidurals, envision skin-to-skin, putting baby to breast immediately; but none desire the NICU. No one wants to sign up for having their baby taken away from them. Babies are supposed to be placed in their mama’s arms, anything but, as necessary as it may be, feels so unnatural.

I know because I’ve experienced it. Yes, of course as a nurse, but I experienced it twice as a mom, before I ever became a nurse. My second child was born with respiratory distress syndrome. He was grunting, retracting and I imagine didn’t have a very impressive pulse ox. After his initial, but brief visit down to the special care nursery, he earned himself a NICU pass. The nurses brought him by my room and told me they were taking him to NICU. Let me take a brief moment to just say… mamas having just given birth are crazy. I feel I can draw that conclusion having given birth four times and meeting so many women after having done the same. Please don’t make judgments in those moments, or for the next several months even. A woman is not herself. And her mind, well, it is not much to speak of either, which is why I can share with you what I said to those poor nurses when they brought Jaron by my room. “I need to hold him.” They looked at one another somewhat puzzled with traces of fear in their eyes and stuttered a reply, “We were given orders to come by the mother’s room and take the baby straight to NICU. We can’t take him out.” I looked at Jaron in the isolette and said, “Oh no, I need to hold my baby.” They apologized and whisked him out of the room. Despite the residual effects of my epidural, I started to get out of my bed, as if…as if I was going to go after them! Absolutely crazy.

My natural instinct to hold my baby was overriding all reason. I couldn’t even process the fact that without medical intervention he would die. And I see this heartbreak of mother’s routinely. There can be this continual flux of appreciation and aggravation. Overall, parents do seem grateful for the care, but they can also get so frustrated with the process. They simply want to take their baby home and sometimes the only obvious physical barrier between home and the hospital is the nurse. In these moments, strength and fortitude are necessities to focus these families on each goal for their baby, and to remind them how we are doing everything we can to get them there. We must remind them we are for them, not against them.

And we demonstrate that by holding them up. A woman never knows the feeling of having her heart outside her body until she experiences the birth of her child. We literally feel outside ourselves… forever. From the moment that tiny person enters the world and for all the years which pass, our children hold our hearts.

Consider with me the families who were never prepared to care for a baby with extenuating medical needs, or those precious families who never take home their baby at all. Those families, those mother’s, need to be held up. They need to know we are in their corner.

In the times we are speaking words mother’s don’t want to hear, giving information they don’t want to receive, or implementing care they wish wasn’t needed, think of Aaron and Hur and what those men did for Moses.

Exodus 17:10-13

So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

These women are in a battle. There is so much conflict in their heart, so much disappointment, sometimes resentment, sometimes denial. Life in the NICU is not the way they pictured it. Therefore, when they ask the same question repeatedly. When they call several times a shift. When they get snippy one minute, cry the next, and moments later spill every detail of their life. Hold them up. They are tired. They are worn. Everything feels heavy. Just like their babies, they need you, a person who cares, a person who loves, a person who is compassionate and understanding; a person who is strong enough, and a person who is for them.

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#SWW

It’s been about sixteen years since I walked into my Pastor’s office and visited with him about a proposal I had received. Brandon had asked me to marry him and I said yes! Was the occasion accompanied with accolades and jubilation? No, not at all. Our families were quite supportive of our dating relationship, but when it came to the discussion of marriage, we encountered many objections. Why? Because at the time of our engagement, I was seventeen, a senior in high school; and he was barely eighteen, a college freshman. What experiences in our life could give us the assurance we were making the right choice for the rest of our life? I expected to receive the same questioning from my Pastor, but I didn’t. The only words I remember was, “Heather, you’re an SWW.” I knew what that was. In today’s time, it deserves a hash tag. Before social media, it was simply an acronym he used meaning, “Strong Willed Woman.” And he asked me what date we were planning for the wedding.

It was one of the first decisions I made without the encouragement from those I loved. It was the first time I silenced the voices around me and solely listened to my Heavenly Father’s. My mom wouldn’t even discuss wedding plans with me until five months before our wedding. My friends kept asking, “How do you really know?” And realistically, there was no way to prove what I knew in my heart and my spirit. For a person who greatly appreciates the support and agreement of others, it was challenging for me to proceed with what I knew was God’s plan for my life.

But I did proceed with His plan. It hasn’t always been easy. It sure would’ve been smoother for Brandon to have completed his engineering degree or me to have completed my nursing degree before we got married, or before we built a house, or before we had children, but easy isn’t always fulfilling, because the Lord sometimes calls us to do what’s difficult. And His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9), so although we’ve had times of challenge, there’s no other way I’d have wanted to go about it.

During my quiet time several months ago I read Psalm 68. Verse 11 came off the page. It reads:

The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng 

Different translations interchange “women” and “company,” but I was reading the New International Version at the time and it spoke volumes to my heart. In those times, I’m reminded of Hebrews 4:12, telling us The Word is alive. The Lord uses His Word to speak to us in anything and everything we encounter. And this scripture was so timely, emphasizing the mighty women who proclaim God’s Word.

It may seem speaking truth and love wouldn’t take a mighty woman, but on the contrary it requires even the mightier. Sometimes proclaiming God’s Word doesn’t fit with what people want to hear or what they want to happen or even what they understand, so they reject it, meaning they may reject you. Through trials, through rejection, through persecution, the message doesn’t change.

I’m prompted to think of some SWWs I see today. Silencing the voices of naysayers, a young single woman stepping out in faith, responding to the calling God placed on her heart to foster a baby. Enduring the heartache, my friend, standing strong in a long divorce process, painfully confronting dishonesty and unfaithfulness. Pressing on, a woman bravely speaks for justice in her work place, a holy determination to expel the darkness with the light of Jesus.

These memories, these women and this scripture bring encouragement to my heart. Relationships change when words spoken are spiraled and twisted like a thrilling roller coaster. Close bonds are broken when time and distance are forced between them. Life looks different. Memories are cherished. The focus becomes the future.

It’s surely not easy being an SWW, but it is a choice. Not everyone wants to be strong. But if you do, be prepared. We are strengthened through what we endure. And while the Lord’s plans for our life is for good and not harm (Jeremiah 29:11), there is an enemy on the attack. With each battle, each obstacle, each barrier and hurdle, God is making you stronger. Your heart, your spirit, your integrity, your security in Him, your identity in Him, your reliance on His hand to be at work and not your own, your confidence that He will move on your behalf, your resolve, your commitment, your assurance; it’s all becoming stronger.

SWWs are not made; they’re developed.

The next opportunity that comes your way, choose to build strength.

Remember, sometimes the Lord calls us to speak, sometimes He calls us to be silent, sometimes the Lord wants us to take action and other times be still. Yes, sometimes we have to quiet those around us to make sure we are hearing only His voice.

Let’s sharpen one another to be the SWWs God intends for us to be. Let’s train up the next generation of SWWs; mighty woman proclaiming God’s Word!

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