I'm Not Enough

About fifteen years ago, Brandon and I were volunteering as youth leaders. Our youth pastor approached me with a question, “Heather, would you take the service the week after next?” Take the service? As in preach?!?! I pretty much said, “no” right then and there. Actually, I’m sure it was probably more delicate with something along the lines of, “Oh I don’t think so.” But our youth pastor, who had been my own youth pastor, didn’t let me off the hook that easily. He instructed me to do something that I’m pretty sure he knew would change my answer—he told me to pray about it.

Well, enough said. You know what happened.

I ended up taking the service—although it was laden with disclaimers that I was just “sharing” and not “preaching.” Preaching just seemed like too big of shoes to fill.

When I think about my journey as a speaker, that moment was the starting line; the beginnings of the Lord revealing His calling to me step-by-step through each opportunity He’s provided.

While the Lord has given me a vision of the work He has for me as a speaker, I sometimes confront doubt rising up in my heart. Not doubting God, but doubting myself, doubting my ability to accomplish what He desires for me to do.

Have you ever done the same?

Here’s a few scenarios right off the top of my head that may cause you to question if you have what it takes:

• starting a new job
• becoming a parent—and then pretty much every day thereafter
• leading a small group
• starting a new business venture
• applying for college
• graduating from college
• writing a book
• starting a blog
• planting a church

There’s countless more, and if I sat here for a bit longer I know I could fill at least a page, but for the sake of word count, we’ll move on.

I know someone else who questioned if they were enough.

Moses.

God called Moses to do a work and speak to the king of Egypt. But Moses didn’t want to and made all kinds of excuses. The Lord was so patient with him and from what I read, really gave him some things to beef him up to stand before the king. You know—just a few things like a shepherd’s staff turning into and out-of a snake, and his hand instantaneously being afflicted with and then delivered from a severe skin disorder, oh and last but not least, the thing with the Nile River water turning into blood. I’m saying if that doesn’t make you feel that you’re on a guaranteed winning side, I just don’t know what will.

But honestly, I get Moses.

A few weeks ago the Lord opened a big door of opportunity to me. I accepted the invitation to speak for an event, but then afterward questioned if I was enough. I shared my doubts with Brandon and he looked at me as if I had just fallen off a pumpkin truck. The guy really says a lot with his eyes. Probably why he doesn’t need to utilize as many words as I do.

Moses, on the other hand, was not good with words. And not even these words from the Lord in Exodus 4:11-12 could change his mind, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” God was so gracious to Moses and met him where he was. He’s so awesome like that. He meets us all right where we are. If you want to read on a little further you’ll see that God allowed Moses’ bro to speak for him—Aaron was good with words, plus it’s just pretty cool to see this portrait of family coming together for a big moment in biblical history like this!

Now that I’m in the planning stages of this big event, I’m getting pretty excited, mostly because I’ve reminded myself of God’s Word right there— Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say. He’s been so faithful each and every time from all those years ago when our youth pastor said, “take the service.”

So here’s where it stands—when we doubt, it’s probably because there’s some fear somewhere in it.

You know what Brooklyn and I just discussed recently? Identifying the antidote to fear. It’s faith. Each time we are confronted with fear, we fight it with faith.

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I don’t know about you, but when I think of evidence, I think of something I can see. But faith is the evidence of what we can’t see. So if you can’t see yourself, let’s say graduating from college, starting a new job, leading a ministry or maybe writing a book, but if the Lord has planted it in your heart, then you can stand firm in faith that it will be, even though nothing with your physical eyes tells you so. You walk by faith—the substance of things hoped for.

Last but not least, let’s close with this thought. Don’t feel the pressure to be enough. We were never meant to be. If we were, we wouldn’t need Jesus. When I consistently put myself out there in situations that make me question if I am enough, those situations are opportunities to remind how much I need Him.

II Corinthians 3:4-5 says, “And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

I am enough in Him!!! And so are you!!!

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Spiritual Stretch Goals

It’s incredible how when God puts something on your radar your eyes see it and your ears hear it as if it were for the first time. It’s like getting a new car and then noticing every other driver with the same one. Once your brain registers that make, model and color, you all of a sudden notice every other driver driving your car. Well back last December God put a mission trip on our radar and registered it in our brain.

May I use the word “incredible” again? It was incredible to me that never before had Brandon nor I felt called to go on a mission trip, but the Lord placed it on our hearts at exactly the same time. We have a heart for missions and we have a budget for missions, I mean I have an aunt and uncle who devoted their lives to the mission field, but I never imagined myself personally, physically going, to literally be the hands and feet of God’s love extended. Honestly, each time we had missionaries come speak at our church, or would listen to the reports of former mission teams from our church, I’d--for real--sit there and thank the Lord that He hadn’t called me to go. It just sounded so miserable.

However, when Brandon said, “We need to go on a missions trip,” I heard myself reply, “You’re so right.” And I really meant it! We’re big budgeters in our home, and although we had already had our meeting to formulate our 2016 budget, we trusted God would provide so Brandon called our Pastor the very next day and signed us up along with Brooklyn and Jaron.

When reflecting back on our first foreign mission trip, this is where the joy begins. The joy of this experience started with the decision to go. The greatest message I can share with you here is that the decision to go wasn’t out of obligation or guilt or inferiority.

I never felt this was a duty. And I never felt those who served in foreign missions were more stellar for Jesus. I still don’t.

What I do know is that our uniqueness is His design of working His creative plans in and through us.

See, the good news is we don’t have to go on a mission trip to be effective for Jesus. We just need to be sure we are where He wants us to be, when He wants us to be there doing what He wants us to do. It may look a little different for each of us. Or it may just look different in different seasons.

God will stretch us out to accomplish His plans and purposes in the places He desires. We don’t need to feel we must replicate another’s path, we simply trust Him to lead us in His unique design for us.

But cue up the Lion King’s “Be Prepared” song here. We must be prepared to extend ourselves beyond ourselves. This may mean the anticipation of discomfort.

In listening to the May 8^th, 2016 “God’s Workmanship” podcast from Mark Batterson, he spoke about another podcast of an interview with Anders Ericsson regarding Deliberate Practice, a concept from Ericcson’s book Peak. In his message Batterson shares,

Deliberate Practice-- you have got to be practicing, we’ll put it in the terms of physical exercise, at 70% maximal strength. In other words, when you do physical activity your body has to be stressed to the point beyond 70% where homeostasis cannot be maintained. In other words, your body has to adjust to what’s happening. Where your metabolism has to change because of the way that you are pushing your body. The body has to grow new capillaries to get more oxygen to your muscles. And then here’s the crazy thing, once you hit your goals, a certain point of physical fitness, the work out that got you there won’t get you to the next level. So now you’ve got to do it all over again! It’s called a stretch goal. And what’s true physically is true spiritually.

I’m sure this message could have challenged me to spend a few more minutes on the tread mill or at least increase the incline of my run, but as this concept fell on my ears I knew it was to motivate my mindset for missions.  For months, the Lord poured material into my heart in preparation for this trip.  The trip was on my radar.

See, I’m the girl who goes on trips and enjoys a nice soft bed, a temperature controlled environment, gourmet meals, wardrobe options, several pairs of shoes, a snazzy bathroom and enough drawers and closet space to move in for the week. Sounds pretty rotten doesn’t it? But work with me here.

Although I enjoy the cushy things I’m so grateful the Lord has allowed me to experience, I can tell you that when He called me to go without them, there was just as much enjoyment. Isn’t that so incredibly awesome?!?!

How could that be? Because, I wasn’t there for any other reason than the simple fact that God called me to be there. And while I anticipate more mission trips in my future, I can say…

1. I’ll never go expecting to have the same experience I just had. That would be disappointing. Nothing could be just like it was. And I wouldn’t want it to be. That would limit God.
2. I’ll never make my decision to go based on who else is attending. We committed to this trip before we ever knew who may go, but God knew. He knew that Brandon, Brooklyn, Jaron and I needed a special time connecting with our church family and He packaged up a special bond with some people we didn’t even know before we left. I’d have never wanted to miss out on that sweet gift.
3. I’ll never feel like I dodged a bullet again when hearing the stories of those in the mission field. I’m still amazed at how much we received. It was so unexpected and incredibly humbling. As surprised as I was to have had such spiritual nourishment there, the Lord reminded me of those words found in Luke 6:38, “Give, and you will receive….” Oh how we received.

It’s too much for one blog post. But a series would suffice. Would you please join me again as I share some of our moments from El Salvador?

My prayer in preparing and my prayer there was, “Lord, speak in us and through us.”

He did just that. Not just for El Salvador but for home.

As we leave today, let's continue to ask, "Lord, how do you want to stretch me?"

I pray your heart is encouraged, inspired, motivated, challenged and blessed as those treasures are shared in the posts to follow.

“One mission trip is worth fifty-two sermons.” Mark Batterson

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The Meadows in Massachusetts

Monday afternoon I grabbed my computer along with one of the piles in the office and set down at the kitchen table to start paying bills. This is usually a task tackled in the office, but that place looked too scary. Piles and piles of papers had accumulated over the last three weeks, and I only had the focus for one at a time. We use Excel to record our transactions in our check register and we use our Discover card for nearly every purchase we make. So when it comes to balancing, I have two statements to balance, our Discover statement and then our bank statement. Dave would greatly disapprove of this process, but it’s worked for us for about twelve years now. We use our Discover card as many others use their bank debit card (so we don’t have one of those). Every single charge goes into our check register, so when the statement comes in, the money is there and we have accrued some nice cash back rewards for items we needed to buy anyway. The only downside, is again, we have two statements to balance, but utilizing Excel, we can easily filter those Discover transactions and typically complete the process proficiently.

I grabbed my green highlighter and started marking off line-by-line the items recorded. It quickly takes me back to recent memories. The joy stirs around inside my heart as I recall them. There was the charge from the theater when we went as a family to see Disney’s Inside Out on our anniversary. There was the charge from the department store when Brooklyn and I went on a little shopping spree. Then my mind and my heart had the joy to revisit several places, like Dave’s Diner, Plimouth Plantation, Martha’s Vineyard Gourmet Café, Fenway Park and The Duck Tour, oh and how could I fail to mention, Dunkin’ Donuts, as our good friends refer to as “Dunkies”.

It was more than touristy destinations. Those transactions indicated where we went and what we saw. Those places represent a trip that the Lord took us on to change us and grow us in who He wants us to be and what He has called us to do.

This can’t be chalked up to coincidence. How insignificant it seemed to Brandon and me at times that we felt we needed to change our domain name. And honestly, I searched my heart before the Lord repeatedly if it was a spirit of pride fueling our efforts to acquire it. I mean, you can see why, it’s my name. I was concerned for the possibility of being self-absorbed.

Then there was that roadblock. Yes, heathermeadows.com was available, but after four months of offers to purchase, the owner thought he was dealing with a real estate group and threw out a whopping $10k price tag. With my own soul searching, and then this news, it just seemed that the Lord was directing us away from it. Still yet, our spirit felt otherwise. He has called us to share our story. So share it. And share it we did. Doing the very basic task He called us to do, resulted in heathermeadows.com not being bought, but being given, and not only a domain given, but an opportunity given, to travel 1600 miles away to do what God has purposed us to do, share our story.

Brandon and I pressed in, seeking the Lord for what He specifically wanted us to share in our time in Massachusetts. We knew He had orchestrated this opportunity. Our desire was to be used by Him to not only share our story, but to speak into hearts a message He knew each one needed.

Every moment there was like Christmas morning; many gifts slowly unwrapped, revealing His love, goodness and the excitement of His plans.

Brooklyn and I had a delightful Saturday morning with the women of the East Freetown Congregational Christian Church. We sat around the table and enjoyed good food, loving interactions, and the sweet presence of the Lord as we got into His Word for a devotional and prayer. The women were personable, relational, transparent, humble, and had the hearts of a servant. Did we all really just meet? It didn’t seem like it. I was among friends, sisters in this family of God.

Never did we feel like visitors. We were welcomed in and met with the sweetest hospitality. We had the opportunity to participate in Joel and Lori’s traditional Saturday afternoon lunch with their best friends from high school, John and Kevin. The evening held another treat, getting to feed horses, (and a cute donkey who is in love with his neighbor pen mare), grill out eating some more amazing food, and fellowship with fellow followers of Jesus all hosted by Brad and Christine, who make you feel like you’re one of the family. Really. I mean one of the family. Christine wanted me to let her do my laundry, and let me tell you, she was serious. She also had Brooklyn over a few days later and coordinated a trial ride for her through a State Forest.

We were received in such warmth and such love. We were shown much generosity, rarely able to pay for our own meals.

Here we came to give. We were asking the Lord to pour us out to others. You’ve read how much we received, but that was just in the first two days. There’s more.

God graciously anointed the message. His Word was delivered with passion, conviction, and love for His people. There was an assurance that we were used as He desired. But I’ve learned something. When we walk in obedience to Him, we’re always going to be getting more. I was prepared to minister to the hearts of His people. I didn’t anticipate how greatly they would minister to mine. I went ready to serve, ready to be used, ready to give, but I got far more than I gave.

There was the mother of the young boy who was born with a congenital heart defect. It touched my heart the memories she shared with me, and the chance to meet her now healthy little boy who stood beside her. Then there was the missionary who shared her heartbeat and passion for Japan with me. A blessing to hear the reports of how God has provided for her to minister.

A special song was beautifully delivered specifically in ministry to us. A young couple visited with me after service, sharing their desperate journey to find a kidney. We had prayer and shortly after I received a message from Chuck, “We know God has plans for us. We plan on sharing with the church on Sunday.” An ultrasound photo said it all.

There was also a visitor, who came up to Brandon after service and explained that he was late for his church, and decided to pull in for service. He didn’t have time to speak to me, but wanted Brandon to know how the message spoke to him. With his hospital bracelet still on his wrist, he explained to Brandon that his baby was in the NICU and how timely the words were that he came to receive.

Call it a reason to retreat

I got some dreams that are bigger than me

I might be outmatched, outsized, the underdog in the fight of my life

It is so crazy to believe

That you gave me the stars put them out of my reach

Called me to waters a little to deep

Oh, I’ve never been so aware of my need

You keep making me see

It’s way beyond me

Anything that I got the strength to do

In over my head keeps me countin’ on You

I’m leaving the sweet spot, sure shot

Tradin’ it all for the plans You got

It is so crazy to believe

You take me to the place where I know I need You

Straight to the depths that I can’t handle on my own

And the Lord I know, I know I need You

So take me to Your great…

Take me to Your great unknown.

~Beyond Me- Toby Mac Publishing: © 2014 Achtober Songs

The Meadows went to Massachusetts and God did some pretty awesome things in us while we were there. To be honest, we got gut punched the minute we departed. In the process of catching our breath, we know there is great opposition for us to have more experiences like the one in Massachusetts.

It’s way beyond me. I’m definitely the underdog. I’m certainly aware of my need. And I know that whatever I can’t handle on my own, He can. And I’m brave enough and determined enough to pursue whatever that is. I want Him to take it all.

In freedom we live

As one we cry out

You carried the cross

You died and rose again

My God, I’ll only ever give my all

~Hillsong United- Take It All

But each day the Lord pours His unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing His songs, praying to God who gives me life.     Psalm 42:8 NLT

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Charles is registered with the Mass General Transplant Team (617) 643 7193

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTMrwhljtv8

Everything is Awesome

“Mom, do you heal the sick babies or does Jesus?” Gavin’s question was seeking clarity for what I actually do at work. He’s heard me say, “I’m going to work tomorrow to take care of the sick babies, so Grandma will be here with you in the morning.” But his question this particular time was formulated from deep thought. I can understand the confusion; if Jesus does the healing what does Mama do? “Well, it’s really amazing,” I began to explain. “Jesus can heal the babies all on His own, but He knows how much I love to take care of them, so He lets me help Him. Isn’t that wonderful, that He lets me help Him, the same way you sometimes help me?”

Let’s give that some thought. In all our comings and goings, God allows us to accomplish things He could do completely on His own. He doesn’t even need us to fulfill His plan, but He uses us nevertheless, because He loves us and He knows the purpose He placed within our being.

Isn’t that awesome?!

Brooklyn and I had a similar discussion back in April, the day after we learned the once $10,000 priced domain name was going to be given to us in agreement that we would come share our story. It was so much for us to wrap our mind around. How simple our brains operate; not really, if you’ve ever read much about neurological function, but in our planning and pondering, it is absolutely nothing in comparison to our Omniscient God.

While I wasn’t a huge fan of The LEGO Movie, I grabbed a life lesson in the story, along with a really catchy tune… “Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of a team. Everything is awesome, when you’re living our dream.” Okay. I apologize. That song will most certainly pop in your mind throughout the day now. I just couldn’t resist.

In the movie, did you notice how the story line changed according to who was manipulating the characters? There was such randomness when the boy was playing with the Legos. Just when things looked like they couldn’t get any worse, out of the blue, a solution would appear. The dad, however, was organized, precise, with no wiggle room for the underdog to rise.

So is life. Our life. The exception for us is free will. God won’t take over unless we ask Him to. I want to be a Lego for the Lord. I want the Lord to move me as He desires. I want His plan to be my game plan. I want His blue print to be my guide.

We’re following His roadmap. And it’s led us to Massachusetts.

How dull. We thought we were simply going to seek out the purchase of heathermeadows.com. But God had bigger plans. This isn’t randomness; this is creativity at work, a divine plan orchestrated.

Now here we are, 1600 miles away from home, sharing our story, making new friends, and celebrating how God uses His people. He gives us purpose and allows us to be His helpers.

Yes—everything is awesome!

Psalm 139:1-6 NLT

O Lord, you have examined my heart

    and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.

    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

You see me when I travel

    and when I rest at home.

    You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say

    even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me.

    You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too great for me to understand!

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We're Moving!

I was so discouraged on March 28^th when I sat down to write the blog post, It Is Time. However, I wrote it because I’m familiar with Samuel’s instruction in I Samuel 15:22. But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:

your burnt offerings and sacrifices

or your obedience to his voice?

Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,

and submission is better than offering the fat of rams."

His voice. Obedience to His voice.

Obedience to His voice was what prompted my decision to cut back on my hours working as a neonatal intensive care nurse. He spoke to my heart while I was recovering from my third surgery in the year. “It is time.” I knew exactly what it was time for. It was time to humble myself, put aside my avoidances of looking foolish and start doing what He’s been preparing me to do for over a decade.

Sure I’ve made my list of excuses. “Lord, I can’t write a book. I don’t have any professional training as a writer.” But the Word tells me He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Hebrews 12:2. He’s not depending on my ability to write it anyway, He’s calling me to be obedient. He equips those He calls.

I’ve composed several questions. “Who is going to have me come speak? How will we maintain our personal budget on a speaker’s fluctuating income?” But the Word tells me He sees even the sparrow, Matthew 10:29, how much more does He care for me? Our budget goes a lot further if we’re investing our resources how He is directing, that includes our time and our money. Obedience to His voice. He provides for those He calls.

When I wrote to share this vision, I thought there’d be an element to share that the Lord had laid on our hearts months before, but it was further away than when we started. Had we heard His voice? It was most definitely my biggest concern. Regardless, I wrote it, knowing the simple functions of my human mind are nothing in comparison to His plans. For this reason, I Corinthians 1:25 NLT was on my heart, “This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.”

Two days before, on March 26^th, I had spent working a fulfilling day in the NICU. Upon checking my email that night I received an anticipated message from the broker who had been negotiating on our behalf for more than three months at that time, to purchase a domain the Lord had laid on our hearts.   His message was short, informing us he had heard from the owners and that they wanted $10,000 for the domain.

It seemed apparent that the Lord didn’t want us to simplify our blog website name.

Months before my dear friend, Sara who designed the Heather’s Blessed JouRNey logo a few years ago, jumped on board with our vision to have some brochures made. In this culture of technology, people still love to have information in hand. I’m one of those people. I’ll hit “print” just to be able to touch the material and put my yellow highlighter to use. So Sara put her creativity and talent to work and designed a brochure for us. When we got together to tweak it, I told her we were hoping to move the blog to a new domain. She selected the line, hit delete, and entered, “heathermeadows.com”. I quickly explained that we hadn’t got it yet. Sara, in her laid back, nonchalant personality said, “That’s okay. When you do, we’ll edit. But we have a place marker for it now.” Little did I know how the Lord would use that design to grow me.

My assurance teetered back and forth in the weeks to follow. I went from feeling confident in His calling to doubting my discernment of His voice. In that time, a reoccurring theme inundated my spirit. Trust. As the Lord spoke “rest” into my heart for 2014, see New Year, Same Life, “trust” is His message to me for 2015. Understanding that the way He grows our patience is to give us more opportunities to be patient, so is the process for us to grow in trust. And those opportunities have been presented in effective ways the last few months.

A lunch with a co-worker and friend on March 3^rd informed me of a nurse turned nurse practitioner who had read one of my favorite books, The Circle Maker and how she put that book to use in her need regarding employment in her new role. It's such an encouraging story that she shared on her blog, visit http://www.wanderlove.co/drawing-circles-part-ii/ to read it.  I first read The Circle Maker a few years ago, in the spring of 2012, on a flight to Washington DC. Ironic that I first learned of Mark Batterson when flying to the city where he Pastors? No. Not when I consider the creative wonders of my Maker. That lunch on March 3^rd stirred the text, which took root in my heart three years ago, and inspired me to come home and print out the rough draft brochure. I wrote Zechariah 4:6 NLT “…It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” I circled heathermeadows.com and I hung it in our bathroom on our safe room door.

In the weeks to follow, I prayed the Word over that domain. “Lord, You don’t need a domain to accomplish Your purposes. But if this is Your will, it has to happen by Your Spirit. It is not by force. I can’t force this to happen. It is not by the sheer determination of my personality, but completely by You.”

Oh that prayer. I circled the domain. But honestly, I considered abandoning it numerous times. “Lay out a fleece before the Lord.” I’m familiar with the Biblical practice found in Judges 6. I’d resort in my mind, “if it’s not by such and such date, we’ll go ahead and print the brochures with Heather’s Blessed JouRNey.com”. Nevertheless, each date that came, it didn’t feel right. So when you don’t know what to do, you wait and you continue seeking God.

Sounds very encouraging doesn’t it? But allow me to remind you of what followed; the email on March 26^th. $10,000. Wow! Now that would appear to be our answer. “Let it go.” But neither Brandon nor I could do that. We were stumped. Why had this been so heavy on our hearts, so important if it wasn’t going to happen?

Still yet, two days later, the Lord led me to write about the vision He’s laid on our hearts and to share the photo Mallory Hall Photography took for these endeavors of me by the ditch where I was injured. All I can say is God’s timing is perfect. Of all the different things I’ve written about it, it was instrumental that that post be the first one seen at the top of the blog at that time.

Discouragement still loomed. The next day Brandon stayed home from church to study for an upcoming certification, so he wasn’t with us in service that day. The boys went to their classes and Brooklyn and I were in service together. It was Palm Sunday, March 29^th. Our Pastor concluded the message and invited attendees to the altars. Brooklyn and I bowed our heads and began our personal prayers. The Holy Spirit nudged me to the altar. I seriously thought, “Lord, I can’t go down to the altar to pray about a domain. You don’t even need the domain to accomplish Your purposes. You're greater.” Then I started to consider some of those in the altar, like a woman in our church who is battling bone cancer, and our Pastor who was most likely seeking the Lord for the lost who would be coming the next week for Easter. As if God couldn’t handle all of us at the same time. As if He weighs out importance of needs. As if we have to qualify to take something to the altar.

Obedience. Obedience to His voice.

I went to the altar. I kneeled down and I literally patted the altar with my two hands, as if laying a tangible item down. I said, “Lord, here it is. I give this to you. Accomplish Your will. By Your Spirit. Not by force, but by Your Spirit. If You want that domain, I believe You will provide for it, and if You don’t, please speak to my heart to know. Lord, may You be glorified. It’s all for You.”

The next day, I felt like it was a long shot, but I wrote a letter to the owner of heathermeadows.com. I shared my heart, our vision and the Heather’s Blessed JouRNey blog. How foolish it seemed. I remember writing without a pause or a hesitation. It flowed by His Spirit. But as I sent it on to our broker asking him to forward it to the owners, a sense of embarrassment was upon me. However, even though I felt like we were in way over our heads, obedience and trust was before me, and I desired to walk in both. I hit send that Monday, March 30^th morning.

The following Thursday, April 2^nd, I was pulling out of the Wal-Mart parking lot after getting items to make my assigned dishes for Easter lunch, when I prayed that prayer again, “Lord, I pray you speak to the owners of the domain. It has to be by Your Spirit. Not forced, but by Your Spirit.”

It was about forty-five minutes before school was to let out. I decided to wait, not wanting to drive home and then back again since I usually have my bag with me, to work on something while I wait. I parked, got out my computer, opened my email and read the following message:

I was overcome. If anyone had seen me in that parking spot, they very well may have assumed someone had died. What an answer to prayer! I knew then that the Lord worked on our behalf.  It wasn't anything we could do on our own and the entire time God simply wanted us to reach out personally. I emailed back confirming that I was who I said I was.  From there we anticipated the next steps of making some type of agreement. Who would’ve thought?

Honesty, I was a little obsessed with checking my email the next day. Can you imagine? We were going to work something out!!! I couldn’t imagine what it would be! However, by about eleven, I knew I needed to be patient and wait. Brandon was off that Good Friday, and I really wanted us to enjoy our day without incessant email checking. We had to run a few errands before taking Gavin for his afternoon Pre-K class. There’s no better way to disengage than leaving your phone at home when you leave, so that’s what I did. We came back home while the kids were at school and watched a movie together.

Just before we left to pick them up, Brandon took our new puppy, Ruby for a little break outside. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to load my email real quick. Well, I did and I received this message (feel free to click on the center of the image to enlarge it):

You may imagine my heart sinking at those words, "So I won't sell you the domain.  I would never be able to sleep at night."  But it didn't.  When I read those words I thought, "Okay, Lord.  This is Your answer."  So of course I didn't foresee the remaining to fold out like it did!!!  I didn't make it much further.  "I will give you the domain for a promise."  That's the sentence that grabbed my gut, twisted it, and pulled me to my knees.  I barely got out the door. Brandon thought someone had died when I ran out screaming to him.  Actually, he recalls that even though he was the person who informed me of my Dad's passing, I didn't have a hysterical reaction as one would anticipate.  But this day, this Good FridayApril 3^rd, I was nothing close to composed.  I'm an emotional girl, but not typically as emotional as I was that day.

Brandon kept reading.  With every word I was overcome by the presence of God.  See, I've read several Mark Batterson books.  I've read the story of the crack house turned coffee shop Batterson and his church circled in prayer, that God made Himself known through His provision for it.  But I never imagined having and Ebenezers-type moment in my life.  I was brought to my knees, overcome, overwhelmed, by His presence.  This was my burning bush (Exodus 3).  #1, I knew this was Holy Ground for the presence of God had moved right before me.  It was only "by His Spirit" that this could happen and His Spirit was nearly tangible to me that day.  #2 I was in awe of His Glory, reminding myself how mighty and powerful He is, reminding myself Who He is.  #3 I knew this was a sign from God reaffirming everything He had spoke into my heart months before, everything I wavered in when it didn't appear like I thought it would, I knew this was the Lord telling me He is the One sending me and He is with me.

It's now been over two months, and I can't refrain from crying when I revisit it.  What would we have missed if we we had hushed the Small Voice leading us to reach out personally with our story?  What would we have missed if we would have given in merely because a date we set rolled around on the calendar instead of the Spirit of God? It's more than my mind can think or conceive.  Ephesians 3:20 NLT  "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

The following Sunday, on Easter, I looked at my husband and whispered in his ear at the conclusion of service.  I needed to pass by, "I have to say 'thank you.'"  Brandon wasn't sure what I meant.  He smiled gently and let me pass through.  I made my way to the altar, knelt down and simply said, "thank you, Lord."  Oh, there were many more words to follow, and I eventually felt the strong hand of my husband grasp mine, and at that altar I laid down all of my planning and thanked Him for the creativity and love of His perfect plans.

Obedience.  Obedience to His voice.

Please visit us at our new online home, on our 16th Wedding Anniversary, this Friday June 19th!  Feel free to invite a friend!

We'd love to hear your Circled Prayer story too!  We invite you to comment below and share it to encourage others.

We look forward to sharing a little more of this story with you, and many more to come!

VISIT  www.heathermeadows.com  JUNE 19th 2015

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