Vacations You Never Outgrow

I remember when my kids were little, well, Gavin is still a bit little, but I’m remembering back to the three to four year-old stage when their likes and dislikes started changing like the Oklahoma weather. We’d be at a party or gathering and the parents would hop in line to make the kids plates first. In the event that it wasn’t self-serve, I’d get the question, “Heather, what would your kids like?” It was a spotlight on the moment for me to expose, “I have no idea.” One day they’d like baked beans, and on another baked beans would make them gag. It would be ketchup and mustard on the hot dog, and at the turn of a hat, they couldn’t eat it if it had ketchup. And that’s just a cookout. I can’t even start on holidays. My kids aren’t the only unpredictable ones. When my husband and I married he wouldn’t eat tomatoes, or mushrooms, and he made fun of me for my medium rare steaks. The latter ended the day I sat across from him at a restaurant, pointed my steak knife at him and said, “One more word Brandon Meadows and you will have to take a bite. So either be quiet and let me be, or try it.” I can’t pinpoint the transformation, but all the steaks are coming off the grill medium rare in our home these days. However, that’s not the only change he made. He now eats all the aforementioned, and has even added some textures to his food repertoire I would have not thought possible, like squid and sushi.

The fact is, as we grow, we change. Brandon and I were eighteen years old when we married. Our palate isn’t the only thing that’s evolved and matured. The course for our children isn’t any different. It’s a bigger picture than proclaiming their disdain for dishes. It’s an illustration of their journey. They want to make a stand for who they are, for who they want to be, for their strive toward individuality, and sometimes that’s as simple as a food preference.

If you’ve seen Disney’s Inside Out you know exactly what I’m talking about. Those islands built as children crumble allowing for them to rebuild, losing some but gaining more. Not too long ago someone looked in my eyes with such depths of pity and said, “Heather, you don’t know your daughter.” I can’t tell you how true that statement is. And I’m totally okay with it because you know what, my daughter doesn’t even know herself. None of my kids do. They are all on a journey. Furthermore, they’re not going to find themselves as many like to imply. No, there’s not a box with their true-self waiting to be opened. Instead, they determine who they want to be from their experiences and choices on this journey of life. And the only One who has them all figured out is the One who made them. This is why we disciple them and direct them toward God and His Word. As they grow to know Him more, they’ll find who He designed them to be.

In the process, we focus on the things the Lord has blessed and used to consistently bring our family together; like our Friday night movies, summer Sunday afternoons in the pool, the annual tradition of cutting down our Christmas tree, and of course, our Disney vacations.

Disney is advertising it as “Vacations You Never Outgrow.” Let me tell you, when I saw it spread out across the Disney transportation bus, I nearly cried. “Seriously?” you may think. Yes. Seriously. No matter what the year holds, Disney destinations are a place we come together, focus on one another, play and make memories.

Memories were definitely in the making this year when we approached the Tower of Terror in Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Brooklyn was on the brink of interrogation as to who reserved that FastPass. Side Note: It wasn't me ;-) Nevertheless, onward we marched toward the experience. Well, have you ever heard people bond through experiences? I believe it. As terrifying as it so accurately suggests, it’s an experience we were all able to share together, and one we’ll talk about for much time to come. But quite possibly may never do again.

The seasons have changed in our Disney days. I was reminded of it in the ladies restroom. I stood at the sink washing my hands as a mom to my right was tending to her baby in the stroller. We exchanged a few words, common for Disney guests. The exhausted mother informed how much exertion it requires with a baby. I expressed understanding having taken Brooklyn for her first trip before she was two, Jaron for his first at ten months, Caden for his first at eight weeks old, and Gavin for his first at five months old. I offered encouragement to her that the work is so worth the memories. There’s nothing like Snow White’s kiss on your baby boy’s forehead. Or your little girl spinning her dress around with Belle. While those stages have passed, we’re in a new stage, free of stroller parking and diaper bags. We’re all together riding rides that make us hoot and holler, and in the case of the Tower of Terror, cry like babies. But we’re doing it together. And for a family of six, where everyone changes like the weather, and some are not completely sure who they are, we’re so grateful for vacations they never outgrow.

If you’re in our same boat, here’s some solid foundation to speak into your wishy washy ones –

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NLT

You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11 ESV

The path of the righteous is level; You make level the way of the righteous. Isaiah 26:7 ESV

we're the first two rows on the right if you want to view all our craziness ;-)

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The In Between

I’ve heard it my entire life…. “The older you get the faster time passes.” Who can testify to the truth of that statement? But I have just a small stipulation to add —the older your kids get the faster time passes.

I’m just not ready to lay claim to aging. I mean I’m only thirty-four. Regardless, life is on fast forward (or that button you hit on your DVR remote to skip forward ten seconds at a time). I mean, didn’t we just have Christmas? We’ve already made it more than halfway through 2015 and our children are headed back-to-school!

Let me confess, this school year was more difficult than ones before. At the conclusion of the 2014-2015 school year, we stood in the kitchen, all six of us shuffling around one another as we unloaded the dishwasher, filled it again, and dished up our evening dinner. In an effort to digest the fact that our baby wasn’t a baby anymore, I posed a question to my husband, “Babe, can you believe we have a kindergartener in our house now?! Not a PreKer, but a kindergartner?!” Our daughter interjected, “And a high schooler.” I corrected, “No. No. We don’t have a high schooler,” incredibly serious, as there was no way we ourselves were old enough to have a child in high school. She insisted, “Yes, Mom. I’m going to be a freshman. That’s high school.” [Insert mom’s heart sinking into my lower intestine here.]

You see, I longed for and desired my children since I was a child. I vividly remember lying in my intensive care unit bed thinking about my future. Before our accident I frequented my Grandma’s dining room and draped her lace curtains over my face pretending to get married. An eighty-seven percent burn injury makes marriage seem like even more of a fantasy to a small child. So when this story started trending toward the fairytale I had abandoned so many years before, my desire for the children I thought I’d never have escalated.

I was more than ready to become a mom when my little Brooklyn Nicole arrived on the scene three weeks before my twentieth birthday. I felt like I had waited for her my entire life, and the first true breath that had ever fully filled my lungs was the one I took in of her and her precious life. I breathed even deeper with the arrival of my baby boys, Jaron Michael, Caden Robert and Gavin Lee.

Being their mom is and has been the most meaningful moments of my life.

And that’s where we want to put things in slow motion, but rather than having the amenity of slowing things down, it only passes all the more quickly when they arrive. Most of the time, we’re juggling the day’s duties, and before we know it we’re into the next. Rarely do we experience a full night’s rest after the birth of our children, and I’m not just referring to the season that they’re little. No, they grow as we tackle everything with them in the daylight hours. Then in the night, in the quiet stillness while they sleep, we continue on. But we acclimate, don’t we? We adjust to late nights and early mornings until it becomes normal. It is there I ask myself, “Man. If it went this fast, how fast would it have gone if I would have slept?” [We’re making inserts into this post—so insert a winky face here].

Well, I assume it would have passed all the more quickly. So here we are, in a brand new season. For the first time in fourteen and a half years, all of my children are in school all day. That’s enough to bring a tear, isn’t it? I hope so, because I’m telling you, I didn’t think I’d really cry on the outside, maybe feel it a little in my heart, but no, I totally did. I barely got out the door. I mall-walked it to my car after dropping off the last child. I’m not talking a little teary-eyed either. No, I’m talking lip-quivering kind of crying. Who would have thought?! Not me. There are times I even surprise myself.

The last fourteen and a half years of having at least one child home with me for at least some part, if not all of the day has been my normal. Now, the season has changed and I’m settling into a new normal. Kissing all four of their faces as they exit the car in the morning, picking them up in the chaos of car rider line in the afternoon; and in the in-between, being brave, pursuing what God has called me to do with those hours He’s purposed for this time now.

There is so much in store; so much ahead that I can hardly stand to allow myself to shed a tear for what has been. But those were amazing chapters. My tears were more of a “thank you, God for letting me experience that,” than an “I’m so sad it’s over.”

We have many great things to come in our family. It will nevertheless, continue to change. It’s constantly going to be looking a little different. Most likely, I’ll cry again. I’m emotional like that. I’ll cry for what has been, for what will be and for the fact that God walks with me in the in-betweens.

Psalm 90:14 NLT  

Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.

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