As I sit here looking at a blank screen with the cursor blinking, I am reflecting on motherhood. It seemed so much easier last year at this time to write a piece about my incredible mom whose very life shaped mine. And, in fact, I am still benefiting from her heart of service and kindness daily.
But this year, I will try to put into words what being a mother means to me.
As with many others, I am sure, motherhood did not come easy for me.
In my quest to have children, I suffered three miscarriages one of which was a molar pregnancy that required follow-up blood work for a year. However, I am thankful, grateful and blessed to tell you that I have two wonderful children.
Carla’s son Jared and his beautiful family!
Jared is now 31 years old and is married to an amazing woman, Whitney. They have four kids, own a lawn care company, and he is a Broken Arrow firefighter.
Jordan is 27 years old and is a labor and delivery nurse. She and her wonderful husband, Ryan, have one son.
Can I just start out by saying that I so wish I knew in my 20’s what I now know in my 50’s pertaining to parenting?
While having infants and toddlers can keep one sleep-deprived, so can having teens who can drive, or adult children who are navigating their way through life.
I read something the other day that says that Biblical parenting does not come about by the changes we force on our children, but by the changes we allow God to make in us. A child when fully taught will be just like his teacher. Luke 6:40, “Students are not greater than their teacher. But the student who is fully trained will become like a teacher.”
It stands to reason that as God does His work in us, then we become better equipped to teach our children through our words and also by our actions. It puts us in a position to say, “Do what I say and also what I do.”
I have wondered what my kids would say if they were reflecting on their childhood and on me as a mother. My hope is that they always know that I love them and want the very best for them.
Carla’s daughter Jordan and her beautiful family!
My goal was for them to come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Yep, that was my goal and is my prayer for my grandkids already. Even though they are both successful adults, my greatest desire and what brings me great JOY is that they have a relationship with the Lord that gives them something no other human on the planet can give. He is the ONE who will be there in the daily rhythms of life and in the darkest of nights.
Adulting is hard and parenting is not for the weak. The strength and wisdom that I drew from when they were young is still the same SOURCE I run to now when I am overwhelmed.
When everything is changing around us, the Lord remains CONSTANT as HE never changes.
Here are some things that I think are so important—some I did well, but most, I could have done better (hindsight is definitely 20/20):
*Choose Moments and Experiences over Stuff -(my kids remember family vacations much more than what they got for Christmas).
*Let friends come over EVEN IF your house is not spotless (I had to be reminded that we did not live in a museum).
*Know YOUR child’s unique strengths and weaknesses (It is so important not to get into a comparison trap).
*Learn your child’s love language so you can keep his/her love tank full (There is a wonderful book called Five Love Languages of Children that is a must read).
*Love them as God loves us using lots of TRUTH, GRACE AND MERCY
*Pray and speak God’s Word over them (We know that it’s God’s Word that has the power to change people).
*Laugh and have fun! Enjoy moments! Be present!!
My greatest delights and also my greatest feelings of inadequacy have been wrapped up in motherhood.
The fact that both of my children have a relationship with the Lord gives me great JOY. And, they both have careers that allow them to show compassion and serve people which is in line with their giftings.
If your children are little, embrace this time! If your kids are pre-teens or teens, buckle down and brace yourself! When your children no longer live in your home, cherish the time you get to see them and appreciate their friendship.
Nothing compares to the unconditional love of a mother! Jared Randall and Jordan Paige, I love you very much, am proud of you and I am honored that both of you call me MOM!
Happy Mother’s Day to you all!
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” Psalms 127:3
Carla Holtz
. . . grew up in a cozy Oklahoma town where she was part of a wonderful church and youth group providing the place for her to meet her husband, Randy of now 35 years. A comfy person is a suitable description of Carla, as she is someone people feel they have known for a long time. By combining humor with life experiences and the Word, she brings practical wisdom for everyday living through her writings and her opportunities to speak at women’s events. It is her goal to bring encouragement to fellow Christians while living a life that draws people to the Lord. Currently, Carla serves her church in a way which allows her to help people get connected to the body of believers and discover where they can best use their God-given gifts. Carla and Randy have planted deep roots in their Oklahoma community where they raised their children and now have the blessing of enjoying their grandchildren.
