Dianna and I were married on March 10, 2006.
We both have been through divorces that brought much pain and confusion to our lives. We both were raised in Christian homes by Godly parents who set great marriage examples for us. However, with that being the case, we both still had marriages that failed. We have learned a great deal from past mistakes and although our marriage is not perfect, we are committed to work hard every day with God at the center of our relationship and number 1 in our lives. We are often invited to speak at Marriage Conferences and we are honored to team up for the writing of this article from some of our material we use.
We would like to start by talking about EXPECTATIONS.
Many times the Power of Expectations is overwhelming in marriage. We have all expected something from our spouse in some area and it didn’t happen. Before we talk more about expectations of your spouse, please ask yourself the following questions:
1) Are my expectations rooted in selfish motives?
2) Are my expectations too high or unrealistic?
3) Are my expectations fair and without comparison?
When expectations are not met in marriage, it triggers emotions. We all handle emotions differently. Some suppress while others explode. We can get in to trouble when we rely solely on our emotions. When we “assume” without facts or let our imagination run wild, we are most certainly headed down a path that God does not want us on. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing in to captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV)
You can avoid the emotional train wreck by practicing the following:
Communicate-----Evaluate----Resolve!
Repeat that over and over. It is important!
In order to keep our expectations realistic, here are 3 things that might help us know our spouses better and move us beyond any selfish motives we may have:
1) Study your spouse
2) Pursue your spouse
3) Keep your spouse as your top priority
All successful marriages begin with the realization that we ALL need help beyond ourselves, we need help from a supernatural God.
Pray for God to change YOU first. We have no right to ask God to change our spouse for our own benefit only for THEIRS. Pray the prayer of the Psalmist constantly, “Create in me a pure heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
In closing, we would like you to consider praying this prayer over and over
1) Convict me---show me what I am doing wrong
2) Correct me----show me how to make it right
3) Comfort me---heal my wounds from the past
4) Change me---to what YOU GOD want me to be
Blessings always,
Lynn & Dianna Wheeler
A Little Thought From Heather:
I think the first time I heard Lynn preach was in 1994 or 1995. I was a junior high student attending our church's revival and let me say, the powerful messages stirred a fire in everyone who attended, from the youth to the elders. Lynn has returned to our church pretty routinely throughout the years and he always brings a word that challenges those in attendance while encouraging and equipping them at the same time. It wasn't until 2015 that I officially met Lynn and his wife Dianna. We had recently returned from speaking at a church out of state the week before, and felt it on my heart to reach out and welcome them at the beginning of service, as is so appreciated when others do the same to me. Give what's been given, right? Well, I couldn't have imagined the message the Lord had in store for Lynn to share with us that morning. Truth be told, we were in the darkest-of-the-darkest parenting seasonings. Ever. So dark that this thought kept stirring in my mind, "if you can't even have a handle on your own home, what makes you think you can speak into the lives of others?" I was one foot committed and the other foot set to turn around and close the door. And my precious Father, who always knows right where we are, and always knows exactly what we need in the time we need it most, spoke a clear message into my heart through Lynn that day. It was all about REMOVE THE QUIT OPTION! Can you believe that?! After the service, I asked Lynn and Dianna to pray with us and for us to have the strength and resolve to continue on in what the Lord had called us to do. They prayed with the most intense urgency and passion. And it didn't end there. Dianna looked me in my eyes and looked into my child's eyes and committed herself to continue praying for us. And she did. And she has still to this day over two years later. These people don't just talk about it, they walk it, and they walk it personally. Having them take a moment to write a message for our readers is a tremendous blessing! Take some time to connect with Dianna and Lynn, visit Lynn Wheeler Ministries. You can find out more about upcoming events, hear the latest sermons, request prayer or give an online gift to their ministry and work with The Refuge Costa Rica. ❤ Heather
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