07.22.2012 I sit here today, on the eve of starting my nursing career, experiencing feelings of relief, gratitude, excitement and anxiety. You might ask, “How in the world can you experience relief and anxiety at the same time?” Well, you’d probably have to have experienced nursing school to understand such a statement.
Two years ago when I began nursing school, I stood on Romans 8:23, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I knew that God had called me to become a nurse; therefore, I knew that all the arrangements made with my children, every financial need, and every academic challenge would be provided for, because the Word told me that ALL things work for the good. I loved God and I knew I was called. Nursing is my ministry.
This does not mean I hadn’t a care in the world. Quite the opposite. I had numerous people who shared my vision and were enlisted to help me achieve my goal. My fear of failure was immense. I couldn't let them down. But that is when we put our faith into action. That is when we not only read the Word, but we pray the Word and it becomes embedded in our heart and soul. That is when the Word is alive and active in our life. I ate up every experience I could in nursing school. Like the operation to repair an inguinal hernia. Disregard the fact that I almost fainted and had to be carried off the surgical area that the surgeon had so graciously invited me. I displayed much greater composure in others. Like the opportunity I had to observe skin grafting on a burn patient; a procedure near and dear to my heart being a burn survivor myself. I’ve watched a Guillain–Barré patient undergo plasmapheresis; I was terrified when I participated in chest compressions during a code; and I had the opportunity to participate in the care of a neonate on ECMO (Extracorporeal membrane oxygenation).
These are undoubtedly highlights. It was in moments like these that I experienced that feeling of gratitude I mentioned earlier; gratitude for the opportunity and exposure. Each encounter also brought feelings of excitement to learn. However, these moments being behind me are what cause such feelings of relief. Then, I had the pressures of a demanding nursing program and the future challenge of NCLEX. Now, that is all behind me. I sit here today with a beautiful line of credentials after my name, “BSN, RN.” I made it. With the Lord’s favor, I accomplished that goal. But in the process, I learned how easily mistakes can happen. I learned that at the end of the day, even nurses, in our limitations of humanity, make mistakes. And that fact brings me much anxiety. I became a nurse to help people; to save lives. And I pray that I never set diligence on the back burner. I pray that while I plan to grow in confidence as a nurse, that I never lose humility.
Today I am focusing on Ephesian 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” I will stand on this scripture as I face this new season. I believe that if God called me, then He equipped me. I believe that in His power He will work through me. That He will do more than I can measure or imagine for the benefit of my patients, my children, my marriage, and my walk with Him, as I continue to answer His call.
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