You know that white-picket-fence-perfect-life stereotype? Well, I have a white picket fence. And it's GREEN! No, we didn't intentionally do it for St. Patty's Day-- but it sure was convenient for this blog post. Pray this encourages your heart as you press past the White Picket Fence Syndrome.
The Uncelebrated
Whether or not you watched any of the 2018 Winter Olympics, there's a message here for you. I share a lesson gained from those athletes who didn't medal. I pray this speaks to you and encourages The Uncelebrated in stirring your passion and purpose.
More To The Story
Have I ever shared my story with you? Well, even if I have this post is that plus much more. It is a post for so many people-- those who face loss and grief, those whose plans haven't come to fruition, those looking for direction, those who have dealt or deal with depression, those who question God’s plan for their life, or those who just love a good story! Please take a moment to read, listen and share with a friend.
The Dumbest Words I've Ever Heard
"Disgusting" and "Dumbest" are two key words in this post. Please join me for this message discussing the lasting effects of what we say. Please be aware: the example is truly disgusting. Nevertheless, it's totally worth the read!
Choosing a Life's Lens
How do you interpret the circumstances of life? Please join me for this post revisiting a funny family memory illustrating the best reality of life. It's the best news I have to share!
Handling a Critical Spirit
When the word "critical" is used it can't be a good thing. It can be downright disastrous. Join me for this message on how to handle a critical spirit-- in ourselves and in others.
Where Are We Going? A Post for The New Year.
Three focus points hit my heart regarding my approach to the New Year when I was recently driving in some unfamiliar territory. I pray you take a few moments for me to share them with you and that you continue to join us in 2018. We are so grateful for your support!
Believing is Magical
Make believe and magic, the elements we entertain at Christmastime. Please join us in our annual seasons greetings sharing how the feeling can accompany you throughout the entire year!
An Empty Shell
Do you feel like you’ve just run out? Have you given all you have within you? Join me for this vulnerable post about some things I'm gaining from my empty-shell experiences of my body, my writing and my husband's physical health.
Who am I?
"In some ways we’re all asking people to tell us who we are." Join me in this post for some thoughts on choosing our circle of people.
Opinions Are Like Belly Buttons
When is expressing our own thoughts and opinions a problem? Please join me for this post evaluating our tendency and ability to do so. I pray it challenges all of us to look at where our words may land in the life of another.
Tarnished
I wrote this guest post for The Essential Life. In this post I share my story and what it was to live tarnished, the realities of grief and the darkness of depression. Thank you to The Essential Life for contacting me to contribute. I never know how these guest pieces will unfold, but I believe these words are for those in the midst of their toughest battles desiring to know there is a hope for tomorrow.
Big People Get Scared Too
RECENTLY I THOUGHT ABOUT OUR LITTLE PERSON BEING SCARED, BECAUSE TO BE QUITE HONEST, I’VE BEEN FEELING A LITTLE SCARED MYSELF.
Do reports of bad news sit heavily on your mind? Do current social circumstances weigh on your heart? Do you you feel anxiety over what may happen and anticipate worst-case scenarios?
I encourage you to read this week's post on how to overcome fears when we big people get scared too.
Bless My Little
Our youth pastor has this phrase he prays before we give in the offering. “Lord, bless our little and make it much.”
Bless our little and make it much.
Do we ever feel like we have a lot to give?
I sure don’t. I guess that’s why this phrase really speaks to me. Sometimes I only have such little to give that it doesn’t seem it could be used to accomplish anything significant. And this isn’t just about money. It’s about all of our resources. Yes, our money, but it’s also about our time, talents and callings. And sometimes, what the Lord challenges us to give Him may seem so small we miss our opportunity to give it. Like I nearly did this past January.
It was the end of service. I can’t even tell you what our Pastor preached on that particular Sunday morning, but I can tell you what he didn’t preach on. He did not preach on trotting yourself across to the other side of the church to pray with someone that didn’t even ask for prayer. No. He did not preach on that.
However, as the altar call was given and people were invited to find a place to pray, I sat back down in my seat and reverently bowed my head for a time of personal reflection and prayer. While I can’t remember, all these months later, what the message was about, it’s my routine to let the message sit with me awhile, asking the Lord to evaluate my life and my heart in light of it. But this particular Sunday morning the minute I sat down a thought came into my mind. You should go pray for so-and-so.
It was just a thought. And I could have dismissed it, but something, or rather, Someone in my heart, made me pause to the notion that it wasn’t just a thought, but rather a nudge to go pray for this so-and-so.
Obedience is in constant development for me, and I regret to tell you my initial response. I’ll just pray for so-and-so right here. I can intercede for her right here. And I even began praying! Then came an interruption to my well-intentioned intercession. I felt the Lord speak to my heart, “If I can’t trust you to do the little things, how can I ever trust you to do the big things?”
Oh the little things.
The little things like this blog here. My writings I offer out of obedience to what God has placed in my heart.
Oh the little things.
The little things like public speaking. My messages I offer out of obedience to what God has placed in my heart.
Luke 16:10 jolted me with the challenge to be obedient in what God had stirred my heart to do. “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”
It may not have seemed like much of a challenge, but I didn’t want to come across to so-and-so as weird. Nevertheless, I felt there was a bigger picture I could not see, but I trust that God desires to piece that picture together in my life. A piecing together that requires me to be faithful in the little things. Like praying for someone who I had no clue would want or need my prayer.
I made it through the awkward walk across the sanctuary to this person. She was standing, with her eyes closed and singing. And here I was, to interrupt her and inform her God nudged me to come pray with her.
Gently, I laid my hand on her arm. She opened her eyes and there I was. Can we say, “awkward?”
I started with, “So-and-so, I have no idea why, but the Lord laid you on my heart to pray for you. I began to pray for you at my seat, but He challenged me to come to you to pray for you. Is there anything specifically I can pray over with you?”
You know her answer, don’t you?
Well, if you think it was a divine confirmation of a need she desperately desired someone to agree with about and encourage her in, then I would have to tell you that that is not how it unfolded. No. Not at all. She said, “Well, I can’t think of anything, but I’m always glad to have someone pray for me.”
Oh dear. Did I miss the boat? Or worse. Did I miss God?
I proceeded to pray for her. I prayed for her health, for her walk with the Lord that she may continue growing in a renewed passion and love, I prayed for her marriage, for her teenager, for her finances and her opportunities to minister to others. Gracious. I prayed for any and everything that possibly popped in my mind. And when I finished, I hugged her and said, “maybe one day we’ll know what this was all about.” Meaning maybe one day we would realize why I needed to walk over and pray for her for a need she didn’t even have.
I’m still not sure how it unfolded on her end, but the Lord has been so kind to connect the dots on what it meant for me on my end.
It was all about faithfulness. It was all about giving Him my little so He can make it much.
I don’t know about you, but I know for me, it’s a little easier to be faithful when I can see and know what’s going on. Taking blind steps forward, when things don’t quite make sense to me is a little more challenging. But if we had all the information, it wouldn’t have anything to do with the root of that word. Faith. Faithfulness is doing what God prompts us to do, without having all the information, knowledge and understanding. It’s getting in the car with Him in the driver seat, having no clue where He’s taking you.
And I would have never imagined Him driving me here, to a place of multiple writing projects including two children’s books, a devotional book, a cookbook and the project my heart continues to beat out with words, my memoir. Never would I have imagined Him blessing my little in such a way that would require a change to accommodate growth. Growth. My little. Growing.
This growth has presented a question. How?
How to cover the cost to:
· Revamp of our website in order to offer these projects on our online home?
· Pay for Service for our Website?
· Print our Brochures?
· Develop Media Material from Events?
· Provide Education- to develop me into a better speaker and writer?
· Buy Pens, Magnets and Chocolates for Speaker’s Table at Events?
· Have Funds for Giveaways for our Subscribers?
· Purchase ISBN numbers?
· Hire an Editor?
My little.
Again, sometimes I only have such little to give that it doesn’t seem it could be used to accomplish anything significant, or even cover the cost to grow the little.
But God just wants my little, and for me to be faithful in that little.
So there He nudged me again, yes, to the point of feeling like a weirdo and facing the possibility of rejection. By the way, side note: faithfulness looks a lot like getting rid of ourselves by humbling ourselves.
In order to continue on with my little, God challenged me to ask for advertisers. I know that life is about personal connection, and that the Lord works through His people to accomplish His plans and purposes, but good grief, this was an incredibly awkward act of obedience. I’d have rather walked across the sanctuary ten times over than to ask people to support my speaking and writing endeavors.
You know the story. It goes right along with what happened when I was nudged to pray for so-and-so. I wrote a letter to ask businesses to purchase an advertisement on our new website. I kept the letter for nearly two months. After finally printing them out and addressing them to the ten people I had on my heart to ask, I held the pile in my hand and asked the Lord to help me understand why I didn’t want to mail them out.
And it came right back down to my little.
What if?
What if no one responded? What if not one person would want to purchase an ad after knowing what the ad would provide for me to do?
Would that mean what I’m doing is not important? Would that mean what I’m doing has no value?
And here was my biggest question.
Would I continue doing what God has called me to do, even if not one person sees value in it?
After I resolved to be faithful in the little things, regardless of the outcome of those letters, I mailed them.
Would you be surprised if I told you I mailed them on a Friday and had an ad purchased by Monday morning? No. You wouldn’t be surprised. Because God simply asks us to be faithful in the little things. Faithful. Bless my little and make it much.
I’ve had a few full-on ugly cries by how the Lord orchestrates the details and provides for needs, so personally and creatively. He brings His people together. And I would like to introduce you to these people who have come alongside me providing for our growth. Their ads will run here on our website and be featured on our speaker table for a year.
I’m so honored to have them here. Please take a moment to read below who these people are, and why I reached out to them. These aren’t just advertisers. This is our online home meaning those you meet here are the type of people you would meet in our actual home. There is a consistency in the messages you read here and the people you would choose to do business with here.
I pray each of them are blessed in their businesses for allowing the Lord to use them in blessing my little and making it much.
Be brave, humble and faithful. He wants to do the same in you.
I pray this post spoke to you. Would you consider supporting this site and our upcoming projects by subscribing to our blog and sharing with others? We can’t grow without you!
Meet Our Advertisers!
Chris and Marcy Leffingwell-
Sometimes I’m at a loss for words. And when it comes to this couple, it’s just hard to summarize them into a paragraph. Chris and Marcy have been friends of ours for over twenty years. They have spoke into our marriage, before our marriage even began, and into our family through celebrations and loss, and now here on our online home with a message reflective of their own life. Ducis per Ministerium. The service leader. I’ve observed this couple in ministry and in business. Chris began his first business venture out of the same building where my Dad had his office. To say they were close is an understatement. My Dad had a strong admiration for Chris’ ambition and integrity, and he knew Chris would be successful in his endeavors because his priority for others was in place. A true service leader. Chris specializes in bringing technology to businesses with quality, affordability, performance, and efficiency. His business represents his service leader principle through the courteous well-trained technicians his company values and provides. I am deeply honored to have he and Marcy represented here on our online home.
Dr. Nathan Rapp-
Having a baby is one of the most exciting events in life. It can also be one of the scariest. As a couple who had four high-risk pregnancies, Brandon and I remember the uncertainty we experienced and the concern we encountered. I also remember how much confidence we had in our doctor. The peace-of-mind knowing he had the expertise, experience, skill and demeanor to safely deliver our baby was a blessing in those years of our life. Doctors make all the difference. Finding the right one is a great treasure. That’s why I’m so proud of our friend for the gift he is and has been to so many families. I love the instances I’ve been able to hear families and nurses brag on Dr. Rapp. I feel so proud to say, “He’s a good friend of ours.” Exactly how I feel regarding the honor of having him advertise on our online home. In addition to knowledge and skill, Dr. Rapp brings good communication between patients and the staff involved in the patient’s care; he is compassionate, respectful and has a gentle and calm nature. He’s the type of physician families want to walk through the season of bringing their precious miracles into the world.
Trevor Randall, Farmer’s Insurance-
My Dad was an insurance agent and I remember him making comments about how we hope we never need our insurance but are glad we have it when we do. Brandon and I have experienced that exact circumstance. We went over sixteen years of our married life never needing to use our insurance, and then back-to-back years we had claims. I’m sure we could probably shop around for cheaper rates, but we truly get what we pay for with Farmers. After a severe storm hit our area, we heard numerous families at a loss for what they thought was covered but in the extremely unfortunate moment, found out so much wasn’t. Farmers has taken care of us. When life is in disarray because the home is, it’s a blessing having an insurance company help put it back together. That is how we feel about Farmers. And this agent is to thank. Trevor is not only married to my lifelong best friend, practically counted as family himself, but he is the picture of professional. He conducts periodic reviews of your policy to make sure you have the coverage you need. Anyone who answers the phone in his office is going to be first and foremost friendly and informative. Each of them knows insurance and are available to keep it as seamless and simple as possible. They are Farmers. (Apologies for any jingles now stuck in your head.)
Dr. Kevin Duffy-
When the topic of orthodontics came up in regard to our first child, Brooklyn, we chose to have her evaluated by someone who came recommended. Several families in our community had seen Dr. Duffy for orthodontic treatment, and one of our dear friends even worked for him for several years. Everyone who knew him gave him the highest compliment and the greatest recommendation. Dr. Duffy saw Brooklyn through braces, and now Jaron too. He’s also evaluated Caden and Gavin and advised us on the best approach for losing those baby teeth allowing for their permanent teeth to come in. I wished we would have had Brooklyn and Jaron evaluated earlier, but I can share with you if you have an eight, nine, or ten year-old, call Dr. Duffy for a complimentary assessment. It may not be time for orthodontics now, but monitoring with a game plan in place can be a fabulous benefit for the treatment process. And be prepared to meet one of the nicest, most gentle people on the planet. Dr. Duffy and his entire staff are warm and friendly throughout the entire office.
Byler Media-
There were so many reservations I had about starting this online home. First, I questioned if anyone would ever even read the writings I had to offer. But mostly, I hadn’t the faintest clue on how to navigate the technical side of it. My friend Rhonda came to my house to get us up-and-running nearly five years ago, but she couldn’t hold my hand through every step, and I had a lot of steps to figure out. It’s been on my prayer list for someone to bring their talents to the design and function of our website. And God opened the door to Marshall. Over the last year or so, when I came across websites I liked, I’d jot down the designer. After having a list of names on my dry eraser board for so long, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to check into one. I didn’t have the faintest idea what it would cost, but I figured I’d never know until I asked. Marshall visited with me on the phone about my website, how I use it, and what I wanted to accomplish through it. And he even offered the suggestion of advertisements. What’s more is, a few hours after we had ended our call, he sent me an email and said he’d be the first to purchase one. When it came time for design, I told him I would be a real easy customer, because I didn’t have a creative direction on how it needed to look. I just knew I wanted it to be easy to navigate and look clean, not too busy. It’s funny. I’m sure after we got started Marshall wondered how someone with no direction could be so opinionated. But he was the absolute best to work with. He’s been incredibly patient through the transition of re-developing our site, spot-on with my main goal to make it clean, functional and easy to navigate. I’m honored to have Byler Media represented here on our online home. He has the qualities of integrity, professionalism and creativity. If you’re considering a web designer, give Marshall a call.
Joanna Ford, Coldwell Bankers-
Brandon and I built our home on family land. The place we decided to build our home and raise our own children was where I had been raised from birth. But right after my Dad passed away I had this basic, non-dramatic desire to move. My husband was supportive and we decided to list our home. We called someone recommended to us who is the picture of a go-getter, Joanna Ford. Joanna continuously showed our home, and showed us homes. She was committed to helping us explore where we needed to live. After much time on the market, with some hopeful buyers that just never panned out, Brandon looked at me and said, “Babe. We keep praying for the perfect family to buy our home.” I nodded in agreement and bewilderment as to why it wasn’t happening. He paused and concluded this thought that rang confirmation in my heart. He said, “I believe we are that family.” He was right. And I’m so thankful God kept us right where He wanted us. And I’m equally as grateful He sent Joanna to walk that season of exploration with us. She is the link to many homes selling, but she’s not just about the sale. She is about people. Joanna genuinely cares about finding the right fit for your family. If that means selling your home, or helping you buy a home, or even building a home, she has the heart of someone you’d want to walk you through it. I love most how Joanna says it herself, “I am successful because real estate is not my work but rather it is my joy.”
NICU Nursing Gifts: Letter From A Family
Everyone has a way they receive love. Gary Chapman covers the topic thoroughly in his book The Five Love Languages. From what I remember of the book, and from what I identify in myself, is that we receive from all of the five ways love is expressed, but each of us has a primary love language. Evidently, my primary love language is quality time. My secondary is acts of service.
But one thing I love so very much are words. I love written words and spoken words. I love the bridge words create connecting one person to another. And recently, I received the most beautiful words from a beautiful family.
This family gifted each nurse who took care of their baby with a rustic cuff and the letter below. I've changed a bit of the letter to protect the family's privacy, but wanted to share because of the insight it provides. Sometimes we get so focused in, we forget how much value each of the little things holds in the hearts of those we as nurses get to care for.
As I read through this letter, the following passage of scripture was stirring in my thoughts.
Matthew 25:34-40 NLT Then the King will say to those on his right, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me." Then these righteous ones will reply, "Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?" And the King will say, "I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!"
NICU Nursing Gifts: Letter From A Family
Hope- a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, a feeling of trust.
We were so excited when we finally had our son on that autumn day in 2016. He was beautiful and sweet and just perfect. Then two days later we were told he wasn't going home with us and that our perfect little boy wasn't medically perfect.
Our emotions leapt from total joy and excitement to fear and confusion. The next few days are totally lost in our memories, and the following weeks were so emotional and draining. There is nothing to prepare you for the sadness and complete helplessness you feel as a parent with a child that is sick to any degree, let alone in and ICU where we weren't sure what the problem was or what the solution would be.
The things we do remember are the people who were there to take care of our son. Upon arrival at the NICU, a nurse had prepared our baby's bed with personal bedding and had placed the sweetest blue knit cap on his precious head. Within the first few days, our little man had a handmade name tag on the door to his room. A few days later, a nurse brought in an outfit and said, "Let's dress this sweet boy!"
Being such an emotional time, I had never even thought to put clothes on my baby!
November arrived and our little turkey got to make his very own first craft! A turkey! Made using his little footprint.
Nurses who had taken care of him before would stop in on their shifts just to check-in on him. We really felt as though the nurses here cared for his health and loved him as all children need to feel loved.
Although we as his parents were not the patients ourselves, we felt cared for. The nurses here engaged in conversation with us both medically to keep us updated and socially to keep us feeling sane and a part of the world outside of that room. Each night, a nurse brought in fresh bedding for us to sleep on and always asked if we needed anything else. We received comfort in the form of positive words or encouragement, friendly smiles and even a few much needed hugs.
You are what gave us HOPE. We desired for our baby's health to be taken care of and we had to trust that it would be. In some cultures, blue is representative of hope. The shade of blue we chose is the same shade of blue as the knit hat he received in his first night in the NICU.
When you wear this bracelet, please remember that what you do matters. You give hope to a lot of families. Your kindness, patience, and individual care matters. We are forever indebted to this staff and this facility.
Love, a NICU Grad's Mom & Dad
I pray this post spoke to you. Did you know I’m writing a book?! Crazy, right?! Would you join me in supporting these endeavors by subscribing to our blog and sharing with your friends and family? We can’t grow with out you.
Thank You Notes
My great aunt and uncle lived in North Carolina and would come to Oklahoma once or twice a year for visits. Mostly I remember them visiting over the summer, but I also have some holiday memories tucked in my mind, visualizing a Thanksgiving one year and some Christmases too.
Although this sister and brother-in-law to my Grandma lived in North Carolina, I very much knew them. Aunt Venita and Uncle George were not the great aunt and uncle my mom forced me to hug or demanded I talk to. Actually, none of my great aunts and uncles were unfamiliar to me. I had the opportunity to build my own relationship with siblings on both my grandparents’ sides of the family. And one thing I knew about my Aunt Venita and Uncle George is that they liked Thank You Notes.
It was a pain as a kid having to write them. Although, I did love what they’d send me for my birthday and Christmas. I even remember my seventh birthday specifically. Aunt Venita mailed a pretty pink spring dress. I opened it and could not wait to wear it.
Seriously. I know we say that as a figure of speech, but I really could not wait, made evident by what transpired a few hours after I opened it.
I’m certain I tried the dress on, although I don’t specifically remember. What I do remember is getting in bed with such excitement to wear my new dress the next day that I could hardly go to sleep.
But I did.
And then I woke up. The fact that it was still dark outside didn’t mean anything to me. It was usually dark when I got up for school.
However, the fact that my mom was still there did mean something to me. She was usually gone for work by the time we were supposed to wake up.
In the moments before I realized this, I got out of my bed, wide awake and ready for the day, put on my dress, and my shoes, and exited the room feeling dressed to the nines, because in my mind, I was. Entering into the hallway I could hear Mom’s voice. Curious as to why she was there, I walked over to my parent’s bedroom door to see my mom in her pjs! I assumed something was wrong.
Oh something was wrong. Mom wasn’t late for work. She was going to bed!
I had such anticipation of wearing that dress that I had hardly slept and woke up round about time for the ten o’clock news!
I wish I could tell you I was just as eager to write the thank you note.
I wasn’t.
Nevertheless, over the years I learned how much a simple thank you note meant to the people who received it, and I began to feel that it was the least I could do for the gift of what they gave to me.
In fact, I screen shot this Facebook post back in May. A friend wrote, “I love getting thank you cards in the mail. It makes your gift seem appreciated. It’s becoming a lost art.”
She’s right. But not in The Meadows Home.
I’ve had this post stirring in my heart, and portions of it sitting in my folder for over two years. I took pictures of Caden writing thank you notes after his 9th birthday. At nearly every age I’ve had my kids write thank you notes. From the time they only had the ability to sign their name, to copying a formatted example I provide, to getting the gift list and writing them independently, each child has been raised with value placed on expressing gratitude in a note.
I know a lot of people approach it differently, but here’s a couple of my personal goals when writing thank you notes.
- In the event the receiver didn’t physically hand me the gift, the note communicates the gift arrived whether by mail or passed along from another person. It doesn’t leave the giver wondering if I ever got it.
- My goal is to communicate consideration of the cost. We live on a budget in our house. And thanks to Dave Ramsey, regardless of our future earning potential, I imagine we always will. With that in mind, I envision each gift given to me coming out of a budget. That means someone chose to take money from something else to purchase something for me. Furthermore, it cost their time. To spend time working to make the money, then to spend time using that worked-for money to buy a gift for me, to spend even more time to wrap it, package it, mail it or bring it to a celebration which takes again, more time! I aim to communicate how valued I feel by acknowledging the value of what was given- time and money.
And for a little cake topper here, Thank You Notes are a keepsake. For the words person like myself, a special note can be retrieved on the difficult days, and in the trying times, to be the much-needed reminder of the goodness in life.
But there’s one more. Yep! Bonus material right here on heathermeadows.com.
I wouldn’t have thought about it, but now I know it—Thank You Notes can open doors.
Because my routine for writing Thank You Notes was established years ago, it was natural for me to send on a note of appreciation in 2014 to Video Revolution for their help in getting us set up with a camera to record some of our speaking events. That little Thank You Note led to a connection with Stevie Fernandez who invited us to share our story for Explore Tulsa a year later, and giving me his card for InVision Media Group.
Fast forward to 2017. Stevie created an incredible speaker video from Saint Francis’ Hospital Week for me, potentially opening even more doors to share not only my story, but the messages this story has written.
I’d say Aunt Venita and Uncle George developed something of great value in me from their expectations of a Thank You Note. If they were here today, I’d write them one to thank them.
Proverbs 18:16 NLT Giving a gift can open doors; it gives access to important people!
I pray this post spoke to you. Did you know I’m writing a book?! Would you join me in supporting these endeavors by subscribing to our blog and sharing with your friends and family? We can’t grow with out you.
It’s All About the Heart
For over a year now my precious husband has been making a funny sound. And it’s not funny as in “LOL” but as in “bizarre.” To make it more curious, the sound is positional, meaning it is only produced when he goes to bed at night and lies on his left side. Furthermore, I don’t like the sound.
Knowing a little bit about blood flow, I’m not envisioning good things when I hear this sound. Our heart has four rooms, or chambers as we call them. Blood visits these four rooms. Blood returning to our heart makes its first stop into our right atrium. Then flows on down to our right ventricle. After it grabs some oxygen from the lungs it enters into our left atrium and then flows into the last room of our heart, the left ventricle. From there it goes on its journey through our body delivering oxygen to our cells like FedEx delivers packages to our door. Except our blood is also kinda like the garbage truck and picks up our cells’ trash while it’s there, but that’s a more lengthy post I suppose.
So. Considering that the last room our blood visits before it’s grand journey throughout the body is the left ventricle, and considering that my hubby makes an involuntary sound when laying on his left side at night, would make any person push for a professional assessment.
It took a year. First I suggested. Then I nudged. Nudging turned into pushing. Pushing turned into nagging. And then, as I’ve been known to do a time or two, I took matters into my own hands and called myself to make a cardiology appointment.
Puzzled. That’s what I would describe the cardiologist’s response. Brandon is not what we call symptomatic. He has no SOB. (I threw that in to be funny. But really, he doesn’t. That’s what we say in healthcare for shortness of breath). He can run without any issues. While he’s not as lean as he’d prefer, it’s not like he’s really overweight. And his EKG showed no concern with his heart’s electrical activity.
But his cardiologist was again, puzzled. Therefore, we went for an echo to get a little gander of the structure of his heart.
It’s amazing really that we don’t have to have a perfect heart for it to work well and sufficiently meet our body’s need. Which at the same time is both incredible and crazy. And realizing this provides much spiritual insight.
Ever wonder why there are so many scriptures about the heart? I mean why did the psalmist not say, “I will praise you O Lord my God with all my kidney”?
Instead the Psalm says in chapter 86 verse 12 of the NKJV, “I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify Your name forevermore.”
When we think about shock it definitely makes sense.
Blood shunts toward two vital organs when one’s body goes into shock. And they are two organs we read about so much in scripture. The heart and the brain.
Patients can lose limbs out of the physiological changes a body makes to preserve the heart and the brain. Reduced peripheral perfusion means it all shunts to the core.
See, I believe the science reveals the Creator and what He is telling us. Every part of our body is significant, every organ is vital, but the heart and the mind are core to who we are, not only for our physical existence but our spiritual life as well.
And while we give much attention to public service announcements, and funds to foundations researching and saving the lives of our physical hearts and brains, it is our spiritual hearts and brains that are most vulnerable to injury.
Psalm 7:9 NLT “End the evil of those who are wicked, and defend the righteous. For You look deep within the mind and heart, O righteous God.”
The Israelites used the words “heart” and “mind” as virtual synonyms to refer to a person’s innermost center of conscious life. To ask God to look deep within the heart and mind, means we are inviting Him to examine the hidden places of our heart, and the hidden places of our thoughts. It’s asking Him to perform His own echocardiogram and get detailed with us, evaluating the structure of our character and motive.
And that is something that is not natural. It is part of our human nature to hide. I mean, do you remember when sin entered into the lives of Adam and Eve? They realized they were as naked as a jaybird and what did they do? They hid.
Asking the Lord to examine our heart and mind is the most significant thing we can do in our pursuit of a growing relationship with Him, because it may be hard to work on the hidden places He uncovers. Maybe we like some of the stuff we’ve got tucked away in the rooms of our heart. Maybe we find some enjoyment in those secret thoughts we revisit here and there. Maybe we’re wanting all the goodness of God but we’re not quite sure about cleaning out and throwing away what we’ve got in those rooms.
But if we are to have a healthy spiritual life, we have to protect our core.
We can’t fill our mind with garbage and pollute our heart with impurity and still experience true living. No. That kind of living is a crisis-mode life. It’s living in a constant state of shock.
And God did not call us to live in critical condition. He called us to live abundantly and victoriously.
So how?
Well here is a scripture from Psalm 51:10 to post on your wall, mirror, fridge or car and wholeheartedly pray,
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
Friends! We have to be renewed! Daily! We are just people. We’re not living as supernatural beings. We’re flesh and we need to continually draw near to the Lord to be renewed and strengthened.
Then ask Him to change the way we think. Talk about a new mindset. Setting our thoughts on things above has some major influence on taking us from a critical state to a powerful state. Romans 12:2 in the NLT says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” If you want to have a healthy mind, ask the Lord to change the way you think. It’ll be different from the norm, but it will guide you to such goodness. It’s a kind of goodness that sticks with you even in the midst of difficulty.
Last one. Anticipate your mouth to follow. When you set your mind on things above, you think differently. And when you think differently, you sound differently. I’m not talking about the bizarre, out-of-the ordinary sound my husband makes when lying on his left side. No. I’m talking about what Jesus tells us about our hearts in Luke 6:45. “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”
Remember, we don’t have to have a perfect heart for it to work well. We simply need to allow it to be examined and treated by the hand of our loving Father.
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Summer Done Possibilities Begun
I remember years ago listening to parents comment on this time of year. Statements like, “I cannot WAIT for school to start” or “It can’t come fast enough” just made me a little sad inside.
I wondered, “How could anyone ever feel that way about their children? Their precious babies. Their little miracles from Heaven.”
Well, let’s just say, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under Heaven.” And for the parents in this house, school is an activity under Heaven we are so grateful to have. That Solomon sure knew what he was talking about!
There was a season of my life that I couldn’t even imagine receiving delight from the first day of school. I’ve even written about the emotional challenges of our little ducklings setting sail into a new school year. But that season is o-ha-ver-er! Yep. Just imagine it like Jim Carrey saying it, making over into a four-syllable word.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my children. And so did all those parents I’d listen to years ago and wonder where, in their heart, could they want their children to leave them for hours each day of the week.
No. They loved their children. Just as much as I loved and love mine. They were just speaking from a different season.
For example, a season like the one we’re in. You know. Two teenagers in the house. TWO!!! One of them being a female! The cry of my heart day-in and day-out, “Dear Jesus, help us!” But let’s not put it all on the teens. Oh no, no. The others. Those other two gave me a nice illustration just this past Sunday for how very timely the school year starting was for our home.
Standing at the ironing board for over four hours was not the ideal way to spend my Sunday afternoon. However, it is my own fault. If I didn’t despise the task so much I wouldn’t have to spend such large chunks of time. Guess it’s part of that whole a stitch in time saves nine thing. But I don’t do stitching either so, carrying on.
Here I am at the ironing board with a boatload of wrinkled clothes draped across the couch awaiting the steam, when Caden comes down stairs half smiling in an attempt to avert his need to cry.
He said, “Mom, Gavin bit me.”
Puzzled, I replied with a question, “He bit you?”
Caden raises the leg of his shorts to reveal a bite on the inside of his thigh! The inside of his thigh! Wow! Talk about pain! And problems. Wooie! Gavin was in trouble! Yep. Say that one with at least three syllables to get the intensity of the moment.
While I’ve never been a biter, I do get that even the best of circumstances lose thrill and passion.
I mean I’ve seen the Disney traveling families who have had so many magical moments they are over it! Over. It.
I also remember back to those days having my very, very best friend in the whole entire world, over to stay the night. One night wasn’t enough. So we’d ask for another night. Then that night wasn’t enough so we’d ask ,pretty please, for just one more! You know the story. After a week we were so sick of each other that every little thing brought aggravation and annoyance. It was like, “When is she going home?!”
Point is. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. And too much of summer break, too much of staying home together in the same general area can end up turning something good into something not so good.
And another point. Enjoy the season. Soak it up.
My Mom has been the best example to me in that. So many times we say, “I can’t wait till this” or “I just wish I could go back to that.”
You’ll never hear my Mom carrying on about how she wished she could go back to soak up more moments. And the reason this is so significant is because my Mom only had nine years of her life to spend with her baby boy. We’d all understand wanting to live in the past when the past is the only place you have with one you love. But that is why we make the most of today, because we never know what tomorrow holds.
My Mom truly makes the most of every opportunity. She lives in the here and now. Life is happening today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Today.
Which brings me to my most favorite back-to-school post I saw, and last focus point to share. It said, “180 days of opportunities to make a difference.”
Wow!
Or as Junie B. Jones would say, “Wowie! Wow! Wow!”
Each day is an opportunity to make a difference. Our kids walking the halls of their school. Our kids sitting at their lunch table. Our kids playing at recess. Our big kids pulling into the parking lots, sitting in their concurrent-enrollment courses and working at their part-time jobs. From taking tests to simple interactions with teachers and peers, our kids have an opportunity every single day to make a difference. How in the world could we hoard that?!
And each day they head out the door and each night we tuck ‘em into bed, we echo the prayer of this back-to-school post,
“Praying for a productive year filled with physical, mental and spiritual growth. New friends. New memories. And lots of fun!”
Happy Back to School!!!!
Go make it awesome!
Colossians 4:5-6 NLT Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.
I pray this post spoke to you. Did you know I’m writing a book?! Would you join me in supporting these endeavors by subscribing to our blog and sharing with your friends and family? We can’t grow with out you.
Brooklyn ~ 11th —- Jaron ~ 8th —- Caden ~ 5th —- Gavin ~ 2nd *if Brooklyn wasn’t wearing heels she’d be eye-to-eye with her oldest little brother
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I Can't Breathe
Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? I mean literally. Have you ever been met with such force that you lost your breath and momentarily lost the ability to take in another one?
There are a few things I think about when I imagine taking a breath. It has to do with tidal volume and vital capacity and respiratory nursing world technicalities. But before I learned about all of that terminology and mechanics of lung function, I learned what it felt like.
I remember back to my seven-year-old days being mechanically ventilated. Being intubated. Some call it life support.
I remember coming out from sedation.
Sedation. Those drugs that make you sleep; time passing without ever even knowing its existence.
I remember having moments of wakefulness and feeling that tube in my throat and thinking, I can’t breathe. It’s a scary feeling.
In a more common experience, I remember having the breath literally knocked out of me when I was about ten. My best friend Brad lived just down the road. Brad and Jon were the same age and after Jon died, Brad stepped in, giving his best to provide all the big-brother experiences he knew Jon would have given me. Like taking me fishing. Which included him fishing my hook out of his own hand on more than one occasion. Obviously, fishing wasn’t my knack. But Brad insisted I go nevertheless.
He’d call and scream into the answering machine on the early summer-break mornings, telling me to get my butt out of bed. If that didn’t work, he’d make his way down to the house to pester me awake. And we joined up for a decent amount of mischief, as Jon would have wanted, including throwing eggs off structures that I’m pretty sure people get arrested for. Brad was a gift of God’s grace in the tragedy of losing Jon. They were best friends, so having him was like getting to keep a piece of Jon.
However, I’m not sure I was thinking that the day he body slammed me over the couch. Don’t get me wrong- I deserved it. I had wrestled with the boys from my earliest beginnings. That’s what happens when you’re the only girl and the baby. If ya wanna be included, you got to run with the big boys. Who knows? Maybe it’s what developed my toughness for the road of recovery I faced.
But that day I hit the edge of the couch and fell off to the floor on my back, I looked at the ceiling and could not breathe. It was momentary, but no breath was to be caught. It scared me. And I think it scared Brad a little too.
I haven’t had the breath knocked out of me since that day. As I grew into a lady, I stopped wrestling with my big-brother figure and I played it safe going into vocal performance rather than high-impact activities. But life has knocked the breath out of me many times over.
I remember having a dear friend, whom I loved very much, say something completely untrue about me. Our friendship shattered. It took my breath away.
I remember sitting on an exam table and my obstetrician compassionately apologizing for our miscarried pregnancy. The feeling of emptiness took my breath away.
I remember being back in the burn unit recovering from skin grafts and Brandon walking in to my bedside telling me my Dad had passed away. I was in the same place I was when I found out my brother was dead seventeen years earlier. It took my breath away.
I remember my child making poor choices and receiving text messages from someone I loved and trusted telling me the behavior was linked to the way I had made my child feel. I was on the floor of parenting despair and that took my breath away.
I remember Brandon calling to tell me he had good news and bad news. Good news he was coming home and would get to spend the day with us. Bad news was he had lost his job in a highly unanticipated layoff. It took my breath away.
I could continue to trace back some moments where I felt someone had just knocked the wind right out of me, but the more important part is sharing how I got the breath to carry on.
There’s a worship song by All Sons and Daughters called, Great Are You, Lord. Here are some of the lyrics—
You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken
Great are You, Lord
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It’s Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only
There are some key points to grab onto right there. When there is no breath left in you, He is your breath. God is breathing into our lungs. He is breathing in His life. His love. His light. His hope. We come up empty. We come up with darkness. We come up with brokenness. We come up apneic—that’s nursing terminology meaning not breathing. And He provides. Add this one to your playlist and sing it out when life’s trials, challenges and circumstances have knocked the wind right out of you. Praising Him in the storm restores and strengthens in supernatural ways we can’t even imagine.
So there’s one way—worship Him.
Here’s another—read, recall and repeat His Word. Psalm 34 is below with some bolded truths that I cling to. Remember—read, recall, repeat. There’s power in His Word! There’s breath for our life!
And finally, communicate to Him and His people. If you can’t breathe, you need intervention. I realized this when Jaron was born. Poor little fella couldn’t breathe—here’s that apnea word again, and retractions and all the things that go along with respiratory distress syndrome. It was more than a little skin-to-skin with mom could cure. Jaron Michael needed help. Specifically he needed some mechanical ventilation, but point is, when we need a breath, God is there to give it, but we need to reach out to Him and the people He longs to use to help us.
When life has knocked the wind right out of you, when there’s an internal anxiety and despair for air; let His peace, His presence and His breath fill your lungs as you walk in trust and rest. God is holding on to you.
I pray this post spoke to you. Did you know I’m writing a book?! Would you join me in supporting these endeavors by subscribing to our blog and sharing with your friends and family? We can’t grow with out you.
Psalm 34 NIV
I will extol the Lord at all times;
His praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt His name together.
4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me;
He delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to Him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
He saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
and He delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and His ears are attentive to their cry;
16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
He delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20 He protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord will rescue His servants;
no one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned.
Personal Connection is More Important Than Pretty Pot Pies
I am a girl who likes to eat, but doesn't cook. In other words, I cook to eat. Kind of ironic that I have a cookbook I’ll be offering for purchase soon. But if you’re anything like me, you’ll love this cookbook. Zero intimidation for those just needing to fix some food.
Some people get real creative in the kitchen. The ideas start flowing as they get out bowls and ingredients, pots and pans, spatulas, spoons and rolling pins. Not me. I have the stuff. I just don't have the passion.
What I do have passion for is people. And I love when people come to our home, sit around our table, or out on our patio, and eat with us. Which is what happened just a couple weeks ago when my friend from work was coming for dinner and a visit with her hubby and three kiddos.
I decided a nice chicken-pot pie would be a good fit for the evening; I could prepare it ahead and it would be easy clean up. Win. And win!
So there I was before dawn that Tuesday morning. I got my chicken going in the pressure cooker and started on my piecrust. I rolled it out, transferred it to my 9x13 dish, put the remaining crust in a zip-lock bag and placed it in the fridge to use for the top later. Check. Check and check. I was feeling quite productive, as the sun still had not even begun to rise.
The morning was going to be a full one, and so was the rest of the day, so it felt oh so good to get this dinner prepared in advance.
Let's fast-forward to an hour and a half before our guests are scheduled to arrive.
Feeling like I've done pretty much all the work already, I come into the kitchen, get out my chicken I have already deboned and shredded, remove my already pie-crust-assembled 9x13 dish from the fridge, along with the zip-lock bag of the crust I was using for the top of my pot pie. I stirred together all my remaining ingredients in a bowl with my chicken, added seasoning to my liking, hoping it's what my guests will like too, and then pour the contents into the awaiting casserole dish. Oh this feeling is so good! I'm just going to roll out the top, toss it on, throw the dish in the oven and get my shower in plenty of time to spare.
At this point I'm feeling quite good at my early arising, thinking that this is what Proverbs 31 women are made of.
The feeling shifted.
Quickly.
I floured my surface and began to roll out the remaining piecrust. I'm sure everyone who loves to make pies would have a plethora of suggestions and most certainly corrections for what was taking place. Let's just say, I was having some challenges getting my piecrust rolled out as smoothly as I did earlier that day. I got to thinking that maybe I'd just have to start over and make an entire batch of crust again, but before I did, as time was ticking away and it seemed I was now on the verge of possibly needing to rush, I took that crust in my hands and said, "Lord, You make all things good. Please make this pie crust good."
Yes. I prayed over my piecrust. We've shared this blogging journey long enough now for you to know that I lean heavily on the Lord's intervention over my daily activities. I'm just a mess. In so many ways. But I know He cares about these little things too.
So there I go with a renewed confidence that the piecrust will be easier to work with. And guess what? It was! I rolled that puppy out with ease. I delicately rolled it up, grabbed two spatulas, came at it, inserting a spatula on each side, and I held my breath as I slowly and carefully transferred it over to the top of the chicken pot pie. I laid it down ever so easily, and feeling like the hardest part was behind me, I let out a sigh of relief and began unrolling it, covering the top of the pie.
So…… the Lord made it good.
I just didn't make it long enough!!!
I think I said out loud, "you have got to be kidding me?!?!"
The rush was on. Without a doubt I needed to make another batch of piecrust. And I did. In record time. Not in record time for those cooking shows, but in record time for me.
As I'm sifting the flour, adding in some crisco, and topping it with a beaten egg, vinegar and water, I'm asking myself, "Why do you do this? Why do you want to cook for people?" And while the question was a thought, the answer was a verbal statement.
"People don't come for the perfect meal but for the personal connection.”
Yep. That’s what I said out loud for my ears to hear and to get my mind focused on the bigger picture of this let’s-get-together-for-dinner idea.
The thing is, I’ve been in some homes where I’ve eaten some amazing food, but didn’t receive a sprinkle of hospitality. And honestly, I’d rather have a ham sandwich with a side of hospitality than a filet minion with none.
With that thought, I quickly added some additional crust to the bare part of my chicken-pot pie. I wish now that’d I’d have taken a picture, but at the moment I was working through everything I could to stay focused on the people and not the pot pie. But let me just tell you. My chicken-pot pie looked like it had a diaper! My original crust that wasn’t long enough, met with my additional crust and it pretty much looked like a diaper. But you know what? Our company loved it! And what they loved more was the time we were able to spend together.
We sat around our kitchen table for nearly 3 hours visiting, laughing and telling stories. We watched pool-soaked kiddos pop in and out of the house with giggles of goodness, a toddler make the most fun of a box of tissues, and Ruby even got to enjoy her favorite past time with our sweet friends, a few rounds of some intense tug-of-war.
And to think I could’ve let an imperfect pot-pie make me feel inadequate for such an experience. I would’ve missed so much.
Luke 10:38-42 NLT As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what He taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
By the way—come to find out, there’s a reason I’ve always felt frustrated with my chicken-pot pie. I’ve been working with half the dough. Through a conversation with my Mom about the ordeal it was revealed that I’ve been trying to make half as much go twice as far! Good grief! Now THAT is a completely different lesson, maybe we’ll revisit in a future post someday.
Until next time…. Reach out. Love and be loved. Be hospitable. Make connection. Soak up the opportunities. Whether it’s china or chinet, whether it’s roasted lamb or a diapered pot pie—personal connection is the goal!
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